|
my jokes!
last night i lay in bed watching the sky,the beautiful stars and the endless horizon
suddenly i though...................................... where the hell is my roof!
====================
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street
with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma
and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
murmur;
be careful.'"
====================
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.
The counselor asks them what the problem is
and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years
they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk,
embraces the wife and kisses her passionately.
The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor turns to the husband and says,
"This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.
Can you do this?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies,
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays,
but on Fridays, I golf."
====================
Father : what do you do to control your anger when i beat you ?
Son : I start cleaning toilet .
father : How this satisfy you ?
Son : I clean toilet with your tooth Brush
====================
- What do you say when you see your TV floating in your room at night ?
- Drop it, *****!
|
