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Well, i'll have to say that my life isn't going to great..... At times i feel like pounding something over my head because i feel like everything is colapseing on me...

1. My mom is REALLY REALLY REALLY sick, she has a VERY VERY VERY bad blatter infection... and now she needs ANOTHER pikline in her... This pikline is a tube that goes from her arm, to her heart... Im scared that she might die or something soon, and i HOPE and PRAY that she gets better... because this is the second time she needed this and without my mommy, i wont have a person to talk to about my personal problems and stuff... It hurts to know that she is sick, once again... PLEASE DEAR GOD! HELP HER...

2. My dad is really close in getting his foot amputated..... His goute is getting worse by the minute...Hes been taking medicine, OVER AND OVER AND OVER again and its like its not even helping or anything... Im so scared that if I lose my dad, i wont have ANYONE to look up too.... I NEED HIM!!! =(

3. The person "I LOVE" is changing a lot...expeucally from the first time we accually started talking...

I knew this person for about 5-6 years already... And she used to be SOOOOOOO Mean to me... I cant even explain how mean she was.... She would always yell at me, tease me, and everything... So was one of the meanest people that i could have ever talked to in my life... But to tell everyone the truth, I always had this hidden feelings for her... I liked her but i never told anyone.....

One day, i went up to her, and asked her if we can start from the beginning and just change forget our past and put all that behind and become friends... From that day one, i got to get to know her way better. We talked all the time, we figured out that we really do like each other a lot... We did a lot of things together.... She would ALWAYS take risks for me and i would take risks for her... and i would buy her stuff and make her the happiest person alive... And we would stay up on the phone all night talking on the fone.

Then one day, while i was walking out of the door at church at tracy local, she told me that she "loves" me... i was so shocked... because i had the same feelings for her. And her and i would do so much for each other... From that day on, she and i just have been getting closer and closer...

We have fought and fought and fought, just to be together... We promised each other that we wont give up... and soo many events have been stoping us from getting together...

She got her fone taken, her parents are dislikeing me, we keep arguing, were really confused in what we want...

I know for a fact, that i love her... and i dont ever wanna give up on her... because we are both having personal problems at home, but were trying our hardest to get through it... and together we have been fighting with our son, all these problems and hindrinces just to be together... And im not going to give up at all... I love her to much for that....

I never tried so hard in my life to be with someone... But i know that being with her will make us happy and it will be worth it in the future.

BUT, lately, she has been snapping at me A LOT!!! she seems like she is always mad at me... this never happend before... She would ALWAYS take risks for me, but she seems that she doesnt want to anymore.... She would change for me, but now she doesnt want to... She would show me that she loves me, but now it seems like her love is fading from me.... There was so much things before that she would do for me and with me, but now she doesnt want to do ANY of it anymore.....

I know that her parents are strick now, but we worked all this out before, doesnt mean we cant work things out now...

Feels like she is giving up, and i promised i wont give up so im not giving up but it feels like she is...

She would have pacients for me, but now it seems like its all gone....
She gets mad at me for dumb things that i didnt really do...

She would NEVER EVER EVER EVER do any of this before

* its hard to take all of this in at once, and i donno what to do with me and this special person. I dont wanna give up, but she is making me feel like crap right now and she continually keeps hurting me, and she is changing so much that sometimes i donno if i can handle this...

What do i do?

I LOVE HER TO MUCH TO LEAVE HER!!!

If she leaves me, i will die. Because i gave her my everything and expeucally my FULL HEART, and without my heart and everything..... I will die.. I need her.. i just donno what to do right now... But i do know that i wont give up, and that i truly do love her... I will change for you, and i need you to change BACK for me crying

And i will keep HOPEING and PRAYING that we will get better and all these times of troubles and hindrences will be worth it later in life....

I HOPE one day we WILL be together and be happy again...

I Hope the "Person I Fell In Love With" will come back...

Help me....

Please God, Help Me Get Through My Times Of Troubles..... PLEASE....

Give Me The Pacients That I Need To Get Through This...

OHH HELP ME GOD! cry