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I may be self centered, but this is how I feel.

I hate Brandon. A lot. He does drugs, hangs around with the wrong people and takes Ethan's attention away from me.
Ethan hung out with him twice this week, although we (yes, we, as in we worked this out together) decided he can only hang out with him one day per week. (Unless of course he happens to be moving, in which case it's unlimited.) But he's not moving.
And I called him while I was on my way home from Audrey's, in perfect relation to his house for a quick visit, and I find out he's hanging out with Brandon. This would be okay, if Brandon and I didn't hate each other. But he started it. I don't see any reason to like anyone who isn't okay with me. Not worth my time. Any ways, I start to sound disapointed and he doesn't notice. People sound disapointed because they are disapointed. If he cared he would have been like "No, bny, I want to see you."
But they were playing video games, I'm sure. I come second only to video games. (unless of course he's horny, but we'll get to that later.)

I don't want to bring this up again, but it seems like he likes video games more than me. I can't give him instant gratification. I wish I could, that way he would spend hours upon unproductive hours playing with ME. But alas, I lack a screen and a controller. I called a few times, and he didn't pick up or call back. I call again about an hour later, and he picks up. "Sorry, Bny, I was playing halo."
His excuse(S): a) playing it with real people so it wasn't like he could put it on pause. b) was excited because he wasplaying it in a new way.
When he calls, I jump out of my skin to answer it.
On to the horny. He's always touching me. I mean, I'm a physically affectionate person, so it's fine. But it's CONSTANT. And always sexual. Sometimes I feel like he's not listening to me, just paying attention to my body.

He's not assertive at all. In his defense, he doesn't really stand up for himself. Or anything. Including me. Which makes me feel insignificant. I mean, It's okay if he doesn't want to protect himself, but I want to be. He just doesn't care enough to.
...
yeah.
I'm done. and crying.
heart heart BNY