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i just had to get this all out.. i layed there in bed... tears falling.. and poured my heart and soul.. my thoughts... every word as it came up.. onto the page.. here's what i came up with... maybe you'll understand.. maybe you'll believe... or maybe you'll just pity me... and my poor pathetic heart...



forever walking with a broken heart
forever loving u
even after the day
i part, this world
only smiling each day
because i know you're doing ok
never truly happy
still missing you
ever having gained your love
was a dream come tre
sadly i'll ever await
with open arms
wishing your heart would come back to mine
and love me again
as more
than just a friend
you were my one true love
my dream come true
the man of my dreams.
that man is you...
now you're her dreams
her light
her day
whether u know it or not
you're still that to me
even if i can't have u as my own
at least i can see u
live happily with her
how much i wish i could take her place
you'll never know
how much i wish u were mine again
i'll never show
i try to stay strong for u
so u don't feel guilty
about my boken spirit
my shattered heart
and my torn soul
even broken, i'm yours
my soul and heart
still your
they always will be..
i love u more than words could say
you were the stars in my night
the light in my day
you're my night sky
my morning glory
you left a touch
a love
so delicate
that a flowers petals seem harsh
your love brought me more joy than i thought could exist
and even though now u love her
i still keep loving u
more each day
my love for u forever grows
no one knows how i hurt
i long for u
i wish for u
i dream about u
i think and speak about u always
and i'm always asking myself
what it is i did wrong
to make u turn away
to look elsewhere for love
to let your love for me go astray
i still need u
if only you're willing
to give me yourself in friendship now
so be it
as long as i still have u
in any way i can
because as i said before
i'd die without u
the reason i still live
is because you aren't totally gone
i'll always pray that someday..
you'll come back to me
but i survive
because i can still speak to u
hear u
anything i can get
is everything i have
i love you ben...
until the day that i die
and forever after
you'll be the last thing on my mind
the first in my heart
and maybe i'll even die
whispering your name upon my lips
speaking of the one i love so dearly
the one i'll love forevermore
whether i want to or not
the sad pathetic thing is
i don't really ever want to let go..
i can't
because i'd be letting go of my heart
my soul
and my world
my only happiness in life...
you..
ben, i just want u to read these words
and maybe you'll understand
maybe you'll still love her
maybe you'll love me again
all i'm trying to do
is let u know
if she's forever your choice
i'll support that
as long as you're still my friend
and will always be there for me
a shoulder to cry upon
a helping hand
a kind word
a gentle hug
someone to talk to
someone to laugh with
someone to love
someone i need
my one true love..
my best friend
my heart
my love
my soul
my spirit
my inspiration
my everything
is you...
i am forever yours
whether u choose to see it or not
i love u forever and always
my heart is yours to do with what u choose
i told u both those things would always be yours
me,... my heart & soul
i didn't lie to u
i didn't lie sayinf i loved u with all my heart
i never lied to u
i spoke from my heart
and if you ever care to listen again
i stand here forever waiting
to smile in the world again
and be happy... and loved..
by you.
by your side i'll hope to stand
i'm always here for u
my love... my friend.. my brother... my world
keeper of my heart...
master to my soul...
and holder of my love..
come back to the nest
and rest beneath my wing once more...