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For the first time I've acctually realized my mortallity. Its acctually a very scary thought to know in 80 years or less I'll be dead. And the world will move on, like nothing ever happend. I'm only one person who has done absolutly nothing important in this world, and might never. So why would the world grieve me? can you imagine timless darkness, and absolute nothingness? I cant. So I must have faith that it will be painless and thoughtless. Yes I used that anyoing Christian word! but thats the only word that fits. Its better than to have faith in a man who thought he was god, who lived 2000 feakin' years ago! At least I realize man is not a superior, special race who think they know, and must know, what exactlly happens after death. I accept darkness forever. Well back to my experiance. I cried for a few minutes, really sad tears. But afterwards I looked at the sky and the ocean (I was in clear water florida) totally differently. I cherish life so much more. I cherish all the colors and smells and sounds, before they're all gone, so much more.