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So, I got bored just now, and went to look at some of the old journal entries on one of my first accounts (Evil Roman). DEAR GOD! So many memories. o.o Started in 05. Random art. Random fangirls. Random hug whore in the bear suit. Random poem. All in all pretty awesome, except one thing. I saw a picture of Lauren from when we first met. I get pretty sad inside. BUT NO! I have moved on. I am not as crazy as I was back then. I have become more cynical. ^w^ Every day I'm moving away from metal and hard music to out there experimental stuff. Meh. ... Anywho, I went to a concert last night. The Fall of Troy. Dir en Grey. Deftones. It was bloody awesome. I got to meet the Fall Of Troy. ******** yeah! ... I AM in a relationship. Bethia. ^w^ Met her at Fanime. She was so nice there when I cut open my finger. Fairly sure I have told you all that before, but, oh well. ... Spent all of my money at the concert so I won't be going to see Transformers till sometime over the weekend. ... Bethia gets back from Washington on the 14th. ... Another Fall of Troy concert with Rx Bandits on August 13th. Can't wait to see them again. ^w^ ... I want my bear PJs again. ... I want more art too. ... I find it ironic that Bethia gets back on the 14th. Such a random day. Both a happy and sad day. Hopefully I will be more focused on Bethia getting back than the other thing. ... I have been writing more and more stuff to be turned into music for (working title) "Digging To China." Experimental/Progressive band that I hope to start. Need some people to play instruments, as I wish to sing. ... Gonna be at Asianman's house for the 4th. Party! He has a pool. ^w^ I'm going to stop by Pebbles' house on the way since she lives about a block away from me and we're gonna go to Asianman's house from her house. ... This is one hell of a journal entry. Congrats to anyone who reads it all. ... B hasn't called in a bit. It sucks. I want to talk to her. Not about anything in particular. Just because. About nothing and everything. This and that. Tell her about that dream. ... EDIT: I have decided NOT to post what my dream was about until I tell Bethia about it. So boo-hoo to anyone who wanted to know. You'll have to wait. ... I want the 14th to come more than anything, but I am also dreading it. Don't worry Bethia, me dreading it has nothing to do with you, you just get back safe and happy. ^w^ Personal stuff. Ugh. ... Yeah, I feel like puking because of what has been running through my mind. ... I like being there and protecting the people I really care about. That's why I check everyday for a message from Bethia on here or Myspace and why I hope for a call while she's in Washington. It's a sign that she's ok, you know. I like knowing the people I care for are safe. I'm odd like that. ... I think I care too much and it drives people away. I'm afraid that might happen with me and B. I would hate myself for that. ... I'm slowly getting deeper and deeper into my fears and feelings. You all should be lucky to know all of this. Don't know if it's because it's 2 in the morning or not, but, meh. ... When I see Bethia next, I want to watch Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. I've wanted to see that movie for quite some time, and it's one of her favorite movies. It has been on a few times on HBO and stuff, but I promised myself that the first time I watch it will be with Bethia. ... I feel like ending, but I don't want to. I want it to keep going on and on into the night. But I should also get some sleep. ... Hhhmmmm. ... I really like the lyrics for F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X. by The Fall Of Troy. ... I don't wanna see the day, my words cannot make it safe. (Come running home! Come running home!) Her heart in my hands, it's too bad, no regrets... I don't wanna see the day, her tears are falling on my grave. (Come running home! Come running home!) This is my one chance, to take back, no regrets... ... I really like that song. ... ********! ... I don't know. ... Check out that song. ... I feel like crying. ... No real reason. ... Because I told some of my fears. ... Because of what's going through my mind. ... Because of what I fear and how I feel that I DIDN'T say. ... (I'll tell those to Bethia when we next talk). ... Who knows why. But it sounds like it would do me some good right now if I just went in bed, and just cried. ... Hmm. ... I've depressed myself in the writing of this journal. I was fairly fine when I started, now I feel rather ******** up and twisted on the inside. ... ********! ... Ever felt like doing that? Yelling ******** as loud as you could to the heavens? Sounds like fun. ... ********!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... Damn I wish Bethia would call soon. I want to talk to someone sane. (Little inside joke that I haven't even talked to her about. I probably should talk to her about it). Oh well. ... ********! ... Ok. I'm done here. ******** this s**t. I'm getting more and more cynical and ******** the more I type. I'm out now. ... ~I don't wanna see the day, my words cannot make it safe.~ {Roman}
Ironic Karma · Wed Jul 04, 2007 @ 10:14am · 3 Comments |
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