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It has been almost two months since my last journal entry and I'm not even sure why I'm writing in this now... I'd intended to be asleep at some point... supposed to be doing things today... like getting another job.

But that's beside the point.

I'm just, really sittin' here, thinkin' about this that and the other thing and how I miss so many goddamn things in my life. One moment it's there and the next it's gone done and passed me by and there's absolutely no friggin' hope of the situation being rescued. Even just a small part of the dream I once had. But no, I gave hope on it and forgot about it because of one tiny little detail I found to impede my entire plans... one tiny little thing that disrupted everything and ruptured the path I was leading so I took another one.

And this is where it's got me... sitting at home, awake, in the wee hours of the morning bitching at somebody for making a suggestion that put another rupture in the whole thought process.

But what's really pissing me off right now... is that I'm just too damn invisible for my own ******** good. As easily as I forget... others forget too... and then there's just no remembering.

Like emptying the recycle bin on your desktop.