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I really wish someone would read these besides me. I am thinking about saving my money for a therapist. I really need to stop letting things get me down, even though I know this I am very depressed most of the time. But Marie Bamford just says "I am paralyzed with hope"

If I scrub hard enough will this blood wash away?
If I cut deep enough will the poison in me drain away?
If I regress far enough into my mind will I be protected from the world?
Will I ever find my sweet salvation?
Can I restart this life?
Can I be born again to start over?
Will it ease the pain I’ve caused?
Can I take this lesson to the next life with me?
Let me start over and take the pain away from those I’ve harmed
Let me take away this guilt I feel ripping apart my shaking body
Help me erase this pain, guilt, and sorrow
With the golden sunrise of tomorrow




Hello?
Hello my name is Sunny how are you?
Why can’t I utter this phrase to anyone?
I see the people in pain that need to hear someone reach out to them
I want to reach out to save them but I am halted by self consciousness
“I’m not good enough to talk to them”
“They will only laugh at me”
“I’m to pathetic to even talk to them”
Why am I so afraid?
I don’t want to get rejected again
I once reached out my hand to all who needed it
They hit my hand away and said “I don’t need you”
I search for my purpose
I want to help but I am too cowardly to put my hand out
To scarred to let people reach out to me
Too silent for people to see my pain
I close my eyes and smile
I can’t look at them when I lie
I close my eyes and smile
Do I think I am better then them?
Stories of princesses and nobility
Scenes from my sanity