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I'm going to miss him. Terribly. But something inside of me seems to be dying for him... just a little bit. And I dont know why. I'm starting to wonder if it is something that he said to me, and I dont realize how much it is affecting me, because I'm trying not to think about it. Because I just said that, now I'm sure I think that is the reason why my feelings are fading a bit. But that is the thing, as much as I have always wanted them to leave, I want them still. I always want to be in love with him. I dont want that to go away, no matter who he is with, no matter who he loves, no matter what. I always want to love him. I dont want this to go away. I just want it to stay, but it seems to be fading, and I cant do anything about it. I mean, if the love fades now, then everything I have done, everything I have been put through wont be anything worth it.. it will all be s**t and I would have done all that for nothing. And I dont want something like this to become nothing... I just want to love him. Whether or not he loves me back. Because I want him to be happy. Even if I'm not the one who makes him happy. Because that is what love is.