I've been struggling to manage my emotions lately. Panic attacks running rampant. Colt's home from the surgery, so that's good at least. I don't get to see him much, though...medications making him a bit tired, y'know.
I'm hoping by this time next year, things will be different. But when are they not?
A couple of people are pissed at me right now...or were? I don't know. I'm just so tired of it all. I'm trying to keep myself as uninvolved as possible, though I'm not sure that's working out. Whatever. One way or another, it'll be over soon.
Something good happened to me...even in the midst of all this. I dated this boy back in highschool...and he was cruel to me, and threatened me and my friends. He saw me at Denny's the other night, came up to me, and I didn't even recognize him. He looked healthy, and happy...and he apologized to me. Six years later, he still found it necessary to apologize to me.
And it really made a difference. It was not only beautiful to witness someone's drastic internal change, but it's was healing to know that someone who had hurt me knew they had, and actually wished they'd done differently.
Means a lot.
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