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ok! this is Number 1 of my big book of every thing.
Lets see.....my life is a horrible mess at the moment. I've been ignored, screamed at blamed hated used and tossed away. The only comfort I have is.....well I really cant say. Everything that used to make me happy has been takin away. I can't really say that I can be comforted by my family because they are the main source of my pain. And whe funny thing is, they act like the dont know what wrong with me when I keep my distance. My friemds have been a big help, if only for the couple of hours I see them. There was one who was able to get close to me, close to breaking the wall I put up around my heart. He was slowly breaking in. I was, for the first time, happy. Then he stabbed me and ripped the peices of my exposed heart. But i got over it. The happiness faded. My smile was gone once again, and I was back were I started, back into the dark void I call my life
.But... I don't want to be like this for ever. I want to be happy, I really do. I just don't know how anymore.