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Hmmm Well I guess now I have to change. My friend Pam has been ignoring me for the last frew days and today I finaly asked her why. She told me it's because she's sick of my crying and my pouting and such. She says I drag everybody down when i'm sad around them. I know I do, and I always feel terrible when I do. I know I need to change, and I've been trying. But now I guess I just need to get better immediately if I don't want to lose everybody I care about. She asked me why I do it, and I told her that I honestly don't know. And its true, I don't know why I just start feeling like st sometimes. Ocassionaly there is a reason, but most of the time it's so random. I'll go from having an awesome time, to just feeling like st and feeling like nobody cares about me or want to be around me. And I realy can't exsplain why it happens. And she told me that thats a bunch of bullshit and I just need to grow up. Which in a way is right. I just let things get to me to easily. I'm going to stop being so ******** emo and depressed all the time, and just be happy, or try to be happy, or even if i'm not i'll atleast create that illusion so that I don't lose anybody else. She said she needs a break from me, thats fine. I need some time to figure out my life, and nobody can help me, I have to do this by myself.

Posted by: punkarama Wed May 11, 2005 @ 07:04pm

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Jupernia
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Commented on: Wed May 11, 2005 @ 07:19pm


	You can't always help how you feel and when you feel. People need to understand that something you can just swing from one extreme to the other. It doesn't mean that your a bad friend, it just means that you need something to talk to, to understand you and to be there for you. Change is a good thing, but it doesn't solve everything. -hugs-

Commented on: Thu May 12, 2005 @ 12:50am

punkarama
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Einari
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Commented on: Thu May 12, 2005 @ 04:55am


	Change isn't always so easy, but I do trust and hope that you are able to do it. And that happens to me too for a second I'm all happy and then boom I'm all sad. Though for me it mostly happens because I imagine too much stuff and my hopes are up all the time and then when something doesn't go as I thought it would go it makes me go all down. And sometimes it is just some tiny thing that does it. Lots of luck for you on your journey inside you. heart

Commented on: Thu May 12, 2005 @ 05:53am


	Einers you just exsplained it so well, thats EXACTLY how it is for me. Thank you. heart

punkarama
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Kalagara
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Commented on: Fri May 13, 2005 @ 06:12am


	Good luck punkie, I'm always here if you need me. heart

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