The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry midterm exam. The answer from one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with his colleagues via the Internet, which is of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.....
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it
expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student
wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionally as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
freshman year, "that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having
sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
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