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The Good, The Bad The Wonderful |
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Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. -Mother Teresa
Hmm, today started off pretty weird. It started at 12 in the morning, when I felt kinda queasy...er..anyways... I hopped into bed. I had some very good dreams. I don't remember anything about what was in them, but the memory of the night in that respect was positive. The alarm went off at around 5:20, I have no idea why my sister set it to that time, but it drove me nuts. I rolled over, looked at it, and then apreciated the fact that I COULD close my eyes again. It felt great. That got me thinking..a lot of the time, you go through a ton of bad stuff, to get your good stuff, and without the bad, you wouldn't appreciate the good as much as after something crappy happens.
Anyways, the alarm went off again at 6:10, and like some robot, I hopped out of bed and got ready for school, half asleep, yet somehow knowing what I was doing at the same time. I bet half the people on the road at that time are in the same mode. What a scary idea. eek My brother drove us to school this time, we got to ride in his woofer stuffed LDT Crown Victoria, and listened to some good music. I dunno what band it was, but the second song on the cd had this very intense drum/guitar beat that woke me up a bit..and the guy was screaming his lungs out. It felt good to hear it, whatever he was saying. We got out of the car, under the cold, turqoise blue of the sky, and for a few minutes, me and my sister talked about that song. She was freaked out a bit, and I was just..thrilled for some reason. I almost feel it was a forshadowing of how I would feel later in the day...I had no idea what I would be getting into. xp
Being a Wednesday, it was also a half-day at our school. That means I had only three classes, 2nd, 4th and 6th. They are long, agonizing classes, I didn't enjoy any that much.
Second period, we watched a school rules movie my friend Stephanie helped make. I liked that it was long, since I was feeling a bit bleary. Then we went over homework, and then we wrote these really crappy poems about feelings. Our group picked Fear. It was all guys, and me...and boy..they suck at writing poems. I didn't wanna sound geeky, so I tried letting them do what they wanted, even when I knew it sounded horrible. They where happy, and thats what counted. Ignorance can be bliss. xd whee
Mmm...fourth period, we went over Dukha and Calvin and Hobbes stuff. I think he's starting to allude to some bigger picture..maybe Bhuddism..but I dunno for sure..he's sneaky. surprised
Sixth period was Spanish Immersion, we went over the homework, verbs..blah blah..we got to talk most of the time, but that was in spanish. I got hyper, and it was coming smoothly for once. I'm starting to get better at relaxing in the language. Tyler, we are gonna talk..haha...and we are gonna be awesome spanish speakin' fools. whee blaugh Hey, you could be talking to my family in Guatemala one day.. wink
Hum...well, after that, us teenagers left the school at 12:40, bats out of hell, eager to cause havoc...or..er..just go home and relax. Well, thats what I did anyways. sweatdrop Got home, ate a tasty salad, had a bowl of Lucky Charms ( God knows I needed them!) and a glass of water. WATER, yeah...you read right...It was pretty good..... smile
Then I used the computer, I'm doing an essay on political issues for a class, so I wanted to get a head start on my resources. I was also waiting for a perticular person, but it was like..2 o' clock, and that means a horrible wait for me. So I slaved away at school stuff..haha..bookbags.. xd xd oh yeah..
Around 4 o' clock, my parents began this horrible guilt thing...about grades and my brain and learning issues. I pray to god that someday I'll be as good as other people at school..I really, really wanna do good, and I am trying. It totally screws me up, when people don't realize how much I have put into these first few weeks. It's stuff I've never done before..and I'm still not great, but I really mean to do well. I have to. I have to pray more..seriously...I know it will help me get that..inner motivation. It's amazing I have as much as I do, and I have wonderful friends to thank. I'm such a lucky person!
I cried for the first time in a loooong time today, but not for long. I was just so mad at my dad for saying things that made me feel like crap. But that made me realize another thing. Why the heck was I crying, when he doesn't know better? I know he just wants me to improve, he just has a horrible, and....reckless way of trying to make me see my faults. I was mad, but I shouldn't have been. All I have to do is improve, and show him I can do better. I WILL do better. No one is gonna tell me what I can or cannot do. Ha, I like this quote, again..Mother Teresa! Quote: If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa And that makes me love Tyler more. He's such a good example...and it's genuine...which is the best part. I LOVE and DIE for people who are naturally...good...they are so constructive to be around. Everyone needs to find a Tyler. He'll never know how much I admire him. It's like...eternal. eek To the deepest parts of my soul, and heart, I'll be thankful to him and his good nature, integrity, and honesty. Not to put any pressure on ya bud, it's just...your way. wink cool
Anyways, I must end this with a song... whee
Hate This & I'll Love You-Muse
Oh I am growing tired Of allowing you to steal Everything I have You're making me feel Like I was born to service you But I am growing by the hour
You left us far behind So we all discard our souls And blaze through your skies So unafraid to die
'Cause I was born to destroy you And I am growing by the hour And I'm getting strong in every way Yeah, Yeah
You led me on You led me on You
Oh, and I'm getting strong in every way Yeah, Yeah
Heck Yes. Goo'night, and Goo'morning and Good Afternoon. 3nodding
Edit: On another note, please check out: http://www.ornery.org/index.html domokun you know you wanna!
TheTyro · Thu Oct 21, 2004 @ 04:51am · 2 Comments |
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