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MOOD: Whoozy
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:: Final Fantasy OST

Maybe I'm secretly obsessed with n00bs... because that seems to be the only thing I ever talk about in here. Heh, maybe I'm masochistic so I tend to frustrate myself with all this crap about these foaming rabid psychos I frequently run into in the AMC forums. Maybe a change of threads should do the trick, but I'm not all that political, so meh... perhaps so or perhaps not.

Anyway, seems like some people really can't tell the difference between n00bs and non-n00bs, because there was this one girl I ran into during the event forum who kept on calling everyone she frequented a "n00b." Funny thing was, she was the biggest n00b on the thread minus a few others hereand there. [Sighs] I tried to use a different approach to these n00bs because most of the time I'm pretty straight-forward to them, but it turned out ugly in the end.

So, to prevent this from actually happening to some of you people, I guess I should jog peoples' memories on who is a n00b and who isn't; though most of you on my friendslist aren't n00bs and know how to deal with these sickos.

CHARACTERISTICS THAT DESCRIBE A N00B:


1. Excessive use of emoticons:
Aka emote-rapers. Let's all face the facts folks, everyone uses emotes no matter who or what they are. But there are certain limitations on this. Non-n00bs use their emotes tastefully. They poke in about one or two of them in between at last six sentences and don't try and create picture stories nor do they line up about ten consecutive emotes as seen in example one. Yes, the second example is an actual quote but for the sake of the poster's dignity, I haven't given out her name.

2. Leet talk and Caplocks:
Sure, the usage of the infamous Leet had gone down significantly in Gaia, but it's still out there. Leet is another tool used by n00bs, though the number of users who use leet extensively is smaller in number than it had been about ten years ago, I still see a few numbers poked in between a few comments here on Gaia. Yes, Leet counts as n00b-speak; note that I use leet whenever referring to this disgusting virtual race. Nothing is more annoying than reading crap like the forementioned quote above.

Caplocks is used only when you're shouting or trying to make an emphasis, but n00bs use it all the time, mostly because they're always ignored, so they try and gain everyone's attention by writing in those gigantic letters. Most of the time, people think their fingers are jammed to the shift button, but we all know that they turn the poor caps button on just to piss the rest of society off.

3. Improper usage of grammar:
This is probably what grates everyone's nerves the most, and is what probably gave birth to the grammar nazi - which is also disliked online, but not as much as n00bs. N00bs tend to write a bunch of nonsense that generally doesn't make sense so other Gaians tend to scratch their head and blink at the message. Often times, n00bs are extremists, so it's either all capitalized letters or all lower-case for them. There are no punctuations, poor spelling, and no order to their writing. Just one short blob of text used to befuddle everyone.

4. I jammed my finger on the punctuation keys:
It's always good to use punctuations, but some n00bs take it beyond the horizon. One to three punctuations lined together is okay, but apparently n00bs don't think that's enough, so they slam their fingers down on their keyboards and walla, the conversation is destroyed by a stream of punctuation. Yeah, we all love periods and exclamation marks, but not to the point where they're abused.

5. Page stretching:
Nothing much to say about this, but n00bs like to elongate their sentences, so they jump up and excitely press down on one letter, or they go nuts screwing the cut-and-paste tool. Little do they know that page-stretching is against Gaian ToS, but what do they care? It's the internet, nobody's going to care, right? RIGHT?

6. Blatant Rudeness:
WARNING! N00bs cannot read super long posts so they disregard all rules and when you ask them to shut the hell up and get off your thread, they bounce right back at you and start bringing up the whole "freedom of speech" crap. Yeah, everyone has the right to speak their mind, but le gasp! Oh noes, the OP/regs can say whatever they want whenever a damn n00b fails to abide by the thread rules! In turn, that leads to flaming on the OP/regs' parts and automatically fun and games goes out the window.

There are a few exceptions to this; if n00bs have frequented a certain thread to the point where its OP/regs have gotten sick of it, the OP tends to post this in his/her first post. That's okay, since most n00bs tend to not read anything that blends into the rest of the post (they're lazy that way). Again, please refer to the ignoreage factor that I've mention previously. Hell, who wouldn't ignore a n00b anyway, but they're all attention-whores so they'd do anything to gain it, even if they have to piss everyone off for it. So if you think you're not a n00b by posting something like this for the rest of your digital life, then think again; because you do fall into this category.

No really, there are n00bs out there that act like this. First they offend everyone on the thread and/or break Gaian ToS, and then they turn around make this lame-a** excuse because in reality they couldn't bear to apologzie to everyone else, because they secretly think they're right. It's just that they don't want to get reported to a mod, so they make up this kind of crappy excuse for the erratic behavior. To be honest, I don't really know why they do that myself, but the crossed-out section is just a theory of mine. If you are a n00b and you happen to read this and think otherwise, good luck with trying to convince me that this kind of s**t doesn't fall under the category of n00bism. I'm not going to believe you because I know a n00b when I see one; just because I don't state otherwise doesn't mean that I don't.

In conclusion, if you do any of the following examples written above, YOU ARE A N00B; no questions asked. Sure, people tend to write in a few typos here and there from time to time, but they're all simple and the readers actually understand what they're seeing on their monitors. So, if you tend to make a few sparse typos here and there, but everyone can comprehend the message being conveyed without a problem (with the addition of good grammar and punctuation), you're good. Remember people, TYPE OUT YOUR DAMN WORDS, we don't need chatspeak or leet because all the knowledge we have gained from our English classes shall go to naught. Oh, and International Students/people are excused from this problem (as long as they don't rape the emotes, write out sentences with everything capitalized or lower-cased) since English isn't their first language.

Also, there is always that shiny "edit" button next to your post, so if you're reading though what you wrote one last time and/or have accidently hit the "submit" button, you can always make your corrections there. Oh, and just because "n00b" is a spelling variations, there's a huge difference between "newbies" and "n00bs." Newbies are people who are new to something, but they're actually polite and aren't disruptive. If they make a major mistake, they will apologize without using their "cuzin/sis/lil'bro" as a pathetic excuse. 3nodding