A young boy went up to his father and asked him,"Dad, what is the difference between 'Potentially' and 'Realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered,"Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a milliondollars.Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a milliondollars,and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a milliondollars.Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pittfor a million dollars?"The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that moneyto fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with BradPitt for a million dollars?"The girl replied, "Oh good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleepwith him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with BradPitt for a million dollars?""Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million buckswould buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to hisdad.His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between'potentially' and 'realistically'?"The boy replied: "Yes. 'Potentially,' you and I are sitting on threemillion dollars,but 'realistically,' we're living with two hookers and a futurecongressman.''
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count aspart of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bringback a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office andgave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's likethis - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then withher left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teethin,then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, firstwith both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing. The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old manreplied,"Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
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