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ScissorsBentley: a Vague Overview
chock-full of journally goodness. in other words, a bunch o' crap in journal form.
the trouble with being a thoroughly decent person
is that you are born with a built-in compulsion to offer your seat on the bus to old people. even if you're not a thoroughly decent person like myself, but you are under the age of about 25, if you don't give up your seat for the elderly, everyone else on the bus will immediately consider you a massive wanker, and you will be roundly jeered and probably spat at until you give in. or, if the other people on the bus are a bit more half-arsed in their disapproval, you'll at least get some dirty looks, heavy sighs and tutting.

but anyway, the problem can sometimes be solved by sitting near the back of the bus - the geriatrics won't be able to hobble that far, and all the people closer to the front will be the ones who end up having to stand. but what REALLY annoys me is when i get on a nice empty bus and find a nice empty seat near the back, thinking 'what a nice setup, there's no way there'll ever be enough old people to fill all the seats in front of mine', and then, at the very next stop, ALL THE PENSIONERS IN THE WORLD get on the bus.

and not just any pensioners, oh no. the smallest, frailest pensioners that ever walked the earth. tiny, hunched-over OAPs with walking sticks to support the arthritis-ravaged bodies that have been lopsided since they lost a leg in the war. the kind who wear glasses with really thick lenses so their eyes are magnified to about ten times their usual size, whose appearance alone could reduce even the massivest wankers from wankville to tears. there was even an old man on the bus today with an incompetent guide dog who kept leading his poor, unsuspecting owner into pretty much everything 3D that stood between the bus doors and the seat i'd just vacated because of my sheer, irrepressible goodness.

these are the people for whose sakes i so often have to stand up and be thrown about, into the waiting sweaty armpits of great big travelling fatties, on a bus driven by what i can only assume is a blind, drunken pigeon. i just hope they're grateful.

(i have cleverly used different colours so that my blog will look less like an overlong, boring pile of crap and more like an exciting, quirky children's book)






User Comments: [2] [add]
sticketh
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed Oct 03, 2007 @ 02:03am
I loved that, lol and the colors did help as well. I know how you feel about the traveling fatties too xD and you described my grandma exactly... except for the missing leg from the war thing, lol.

But my point, damn you write good things. I'd have to be listening to my music, be sitting by my closest friend, and the story would've happened about 30min. ago, lol


User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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