Ok so currently life is being a major butt...I'm fighting a couple of problems...one of which could end it all....I don't know what has been wrong with me...I just seem to have lost what made me..me...I'm not Sunny anymore. I will work through this. I'm a fighter...I always have been...I just gotta get myself back. I'm glad that I have my friends..they are helping more than they know..I'm just scared that I won't be able to work out of my problems this time. I need them more now than ever...but I don't want to tell them that...I know that I can't always depend on people to help me with everything. I need to stand on my own two feet. I know I'm going to be ok..I won't let this problem beat me...Work is being a pain...it's just adding to the stress now....I really need a full day off and away from my house and work and everything...I need to get away...Maybe the farther the better....I never thought that I would be in this kind of position...I feel like I need to be punished...that I let down everyone..I have to get these thoughts out of my head...its just my dad speaking....I've hurt all of my friends..I never wanted to do that ever...Will anything ever be the same again I wonder..I sure hope so....The only way I can really get my feelings out even partially is to write...but I haven't been able to do that....Words don't want to come to me....I try to keep up on my journal..but I find that I just keep going around in cirlces.....have I lost my writing as well....I'm so tired of always hurting..I want to get away from the pain and stress...but I can't run anymore...I have to face it..but it may be the hardest thing I ever have to do...
CloudsFall · Sun Jun 05, 2005 @ 05:50am · 2 Comments |