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I layed down for awhile now but it still hurts.
It's always about something else, never about me anymore. Alone, i'm alone again. It hurts worse then this pain. I can't take it anymore. I thought that coming back would stop it, but it is worse then before. And it continues to get worse. This feeling of alonelyness then darkness then nothingness. I'm breaking, weaking like i did when i was little. My memories of then are weak. I only remember the feeling of betrayal, alone, used, and darkness over and over again. I can't talk to anyone about it. Its hurts that i can't trust someone with this but u can't blame me. I was often betray and used by the people i trusted, by people i though were my family, by people i thought were my friends. I am a tool for some and a toy for others.