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Jasette's blatherings, or lack thereof
mostly lack thereof
An old random story of mine.
Thought I'd post it, just 'cause. XD ... Yeah.

Nar. Ner nar nur.

So, this one time, I was walkin' down fifth street, and I was wonderin' to mahself, where do chickens come from? I asked a street performer, and all he said was "Hauhnyahnoutsnukts", which pretty much told me what I needed to know. Then I jumped on a book and did the hokey-pokey, because that's what it's all about. But THEN this guy came over to me, and he was all, "Holy fish paste, I've never seen anyone pokey a hokey like you, lady", and I was all, "SCREW YOU, MICHAEL JACKSON!!!" And I slapped him with a hard drive. Of course, Michael didn't really like this, so he kind of called this thing where those guys come and beat you... and I got beat... by Stacey's Mom... Dirk's Dad... yeah, they're the same person. Stacey's Mom got a sex change and had another child. Yeah, that's possible. ANYWAY, I was crawling on the street, bleeding like a true American, when SUDDENLY A COW RAN OVER MY GRANDMA!!!! I got pretty pissed, so I ate the cow's nose. Pretty nasty stuff. BUT THEN, this -OTHER- old lady walked over, and she was all, "WHERE'S THE PHARMACY!!?!?! I NEED MY PIIILLLS!!!!??!???????? PARAKEEET?:E?~?!?!?#?" So I was all, "Uhmn... are you the OTHER OTHER WHITE MEAT?!?!" She smacked me with her llama and stalked off. Not a nice lady. Now, as you can probably tell, I wasn't having that great of a day. You know, with the hauhnyahnoutsnukts and the beating and the Stacey and the nose... so I went to this cafe where they sell larvae on a stick.... NO, I DIDN'T EAT -THAT-. SICK. You are SICK. Sheesh. Instead, I ate some goldfish. NO, NOT THE CRACKERS. THINGS. I THINK THEY'RE CALLED CRACKERS. WHATEVER. You're still sick. But anyway... there was this little kid... he was about four or so... and he came over to me... with these big, innocent eyes... and he smiled at me.. and he said... "GAS STATIONS ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!!!!" And he ripped my hair out and ate it. Of course, I thought this was extremely cute. So I gave him five bucks and told him his mommy loved him. I'm sure that's true. Yes.... very true indeed. In any case, this rich guy saw what I did to the kid, and he came over, and he was all "I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of...", and I replied hastily: "THE MONSTER IN THE BATH TUB! DUH!!!!" Me an' him got hitched eventually. We went on a honeymoon to Venezuela, where everything is sun and smiles, and ate goldfish together in the heat of the OVEN, WHERE WE COOKED OURSELVES, THEN ATE OURSELVES ALIIIIIIIVE. My grandmother, surprisingly alive, walked in, and saw our scattered carcasses, and did the macarana. She then proceeded to start a congo line, in which she lived happily ever after. The End.






User Comments: [3] [add]
Shady Tradesman
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Jun 11, 2005 @ 05:04pm
*sends link to random friends*

that was truely awsome! mrgreen heart


commentCommented on: Sat Jun 11, 2005 @ 10:43pm
Wow.



Naomi Nya
Community Member
Hatred Entity
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Jun 16, 2005 @ 03:19pm
xp


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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