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Traumatic events, make the world go round. There is always that something in your life, that can tilt in the direction of fate and choice.

Right now, I just started a job. I am trying to not get sick. And I am steadily going up in grades. GOOD. But the bad part is, is that there is always that small part of me that is nagging about the person I left behind. The person that I loved and respected, is gone, because I was fearful of what I could possibly become with that person.

I have come to terms with the fact he doesn't want to be with me. But this bi-polar attitude that he has taken with me, that one day we are friends and the next he is stingy with any emotion,.... well that bothers me. And i swear I think i have the right to let it.

If he wants to tell me that he wants to be friends, and that I am supposed to be alright with the fact that he wants to get into the other girls pants, then he should have the decency to be nice and respectful of my feelings.

I have apologized more then my share, and to know that it is good with him some days and not the others, makes me wonder if he ever truely excepted it in the first place.

Trust is something earned, but loyalty should never be able to be lost over the trivialities of life. Maybe it's time I learned that, he is a pain in my side, a thorn my stride, and transgression in my ever lasting mind.

-Rhiya.