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I haven't been feeling at the top of my game. I thought once I got rid of a terrible friend, his rude comments would end. That's not the truth. He now teases me online and their no escape from his onslaught now. I thought all that teasing stuff ended once I was in high school, but I was wrong. It's bad enough that from 2nd grade to middle school I was teased day in and day out, never having a chance to recover. Also my own cousin sexually assaulted me. Luckily enough there was no penetration, but to do something like that to a 5 or 6 year old is down-right inhumane. All these terrible feeling swirl underneath my happy face and hyper attitude. Some people see past my thin and meager defense others keep trying to hurt me, furthering the damage on my heart. If you were to look at my spiritual heart you'd see it riddled with stab wound and quite a few tears. Sure some of it looks healthy, but the remainer looks like it went throught WWII alll on its own. I feel like I'm being swallowed up by these ugly feeling and I'm going to end up like Billy, whom I mentioned in my last journal entry, who killed himself. If only I could have some help, sure I have some good friends, but they barely know about my pain riddled past. I feel so alone right now so please, my fellow readers, please give me support. If your Christian, please pray for me. I need God's healing hand right now, so please helped a girl who feels like she's drowning in a sea of despair. Well until next time, SAYONARA!!