I don't know anymore guys,
I just can't seem to trust anyone lately, It sucks. I don't even trust my own heart these days. I'm so scared I'll get hurt, but then again the past few months have been nothing but lies I've made my self believe. I just don't know what to do. I would die to have a girl to love and love me right now, To have someone to hold that I actually Have feelings for in that sense. Everywhere I go I see happy high school couples, and it gets to me. I haven't been in a relationship for almost 6 months. ITS KILLING ME. I love being in relationships, but only real ones, And the way the last 3 have ended I don't know if I'm ready to start over but then again it feels so weird being single and I hate it! I don't know, its just hard to see all of my friends in happy relationships and I'm stuck in a mess of lies.
Other then that its been kinda hard for me. I hate fighting with people but lately I can't seem to help it. I seem to be getting more and more easily pissed off at people for stupid things. That and I can't stand my family and friends fighting with each other like they do. It sucks.
I mean I try really hard to have fun and be happy around the people I care about, But its not always that easy. I wish my life was so much more then it is, at the same time I don't though, I love my friends and if I had a different life I wouldn't be me and then I wouldn't of met any of them. I still can't help but to wonder what would become of me if my life was different, in both the better and worse sense.
mehh I don't know anymore, I guess I'm just in a more bitter part of my life, being a teen and all people say its normal to feel this way, maybe it is, but I don't care, I don't wanna feel like this. I want to be happy and not have to worry, I want to be able to laugh at stupid things and not feel like I have to live up to so much and for once be able to do what I want with out people getting upset with me.
mehh I'm done. if you have read this whole thing then tank you for reading it. if you have not, thanks for trying.
Ammonia_and_Cyanide Community Member 
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