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I'm pregnant.
And i've n ever felt so insecure and ugly in my life.
It seems like everything i've ever dreamt and hoped for is out the window now.
and it seems like finding myself, is so far out of reach.
and my heart is broken.
how can i create another beating heart when my doesn't want to beat at all.
everything is so scary.
we havent told my aunt dee or my grandparents yet cause i'll get kicked out
i need to have a house to live in before then.
one of my own, as well as a car.
but my mom and i feel its best i dont work right now because of how sick i am, and how sick i get and how anemic i am.
though she says she wants me to get one we both think it may not be the best choice.
as for my dad well i'll get no help from him what so ever, i've never felt this lost.

i'm so ******** afraid.

i cant even smoke a cig without puking and it took me a half an hour to light it on the oven cause i cant find my lighter.

i cant ever sleep.

i wish this never happened