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Those who know me, know I get this way a lot.

I cant sleep. No one is awake to talk to me. I am at the bottom of the stability meter. I am just pacifying myself listening to the rain as best I can. Still have over a week of break which is good. Then back to hell.

My xbox 360 hard drive wont read and I am infuriated that I cannot find ANY help about it online. I am not going to call Microsoft just to talk to some "representative" in ******** India, who can barely speak English. What has the service industry come down to? That makes me angrier than my drive shutting down.

I miss my girlfriend. I saw her for like 10 minutes the other day. Thats the most I have seen her in a few weeks. I havent even talked to her on the phone because she and I have been busy on alternating days. It makes me so sad and detached. I was about to drive over to her house today, but of course, she wasnt there. Glad I called first.

I hate the holidays. People act like complete idiots. I have never even celebrated any of them in my life since before I can remember. I guess that is a good thing. I dont care for them, but it alienates me from a ton of people and I am not nipping at the bit to identify with atheists, one of which I am not. At least I dont think so.

My spirituality has been seriously lacking lately. I see nothing divine around me. Everything that I have -- family, friends, money, knowledge -- I have to bleed for. Not a whole lot of God there.

Guess I will shut up bitching for now. I whine sometimes, but I seldom b***h like this. Sorry.