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Candi's Journal My Stuff.


[Dark Lace]
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12:25am 7/03/05 Sunday er..morning?
Well..hey people it's been along time since i have wrote! surprised Lets see if i can remember if anything has happened..well..School's out obviously. seeing as it is now July..My poppy lives with Susan. I don't get to see him much anymore... crying I turned 15..woohoo.. neutral Um..my dads lung collapsed.. surprised crying and thats the only ones he's got. seeing as the same thing happened to the other one some odd years ago. but he refuses to go to the doctor. It's complicated so i'll end it there. There's more going on there. but hopefully it's over. My cat died. atleast we think so. it's been awhile since anyone has seen her and the shed has a deathy smell... crying and my step sister's and mine's relationship is kind of rocky right now. i'm scared she hates me. and now i'm scared everyone else is gonna hate me. I keep pushing people away. and I never know till it's to late. when will i learn?! I don't understand how i don't see it. I'm just so ******** stupid. I'm going to lose everyone who's important to me. and it's my fault. and i mean i don't even have that many people left to lose now! My sister and I are talkign on yahoo right now. it's making me nervous. i really didn't tihnk she'd say anything to me. I mean she didn't even say goodbye to me. I don't know what's going on in her head. but i'm not gonna fill this up with her. God i hate being in the middle of things..This is what I get for trying to make everyone happy. well lets see..did i forget anything..my best friend moved to st. peters. but hopefully not forever. sweatdrop um..and oh the whole amanda and jenna thing leaves me worried about ashley. she tried to kill herself. she has thid cut on her neck. and she cut her wrists. and i don't know what to do. I'm really worried. She hasn't been eating lately either..but one good thing is, she said when ever she calls Dustin crying he will be like "okay calm down i'm coming to get you" which makes me feel better, I'm really glad that she has him. He really is sweet. So atleast she has someone to make her feel better.
Well..I duno how this whole me and amanda thing is gonna turn out..I guess we may find out next post.




 
 
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