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I had no idea this could happen. I have never felt this badly about myself...about who I am, in years. The shakey foundation that my self-esteem was riding on was knocked out from under me in one foul swoop, and washed away, and all I could do was sit by the side of the perverbial riverbank and watch it float away and then become flotsom and jetsom. In one night, he made me feel inadequate, like almost no one has ever been able to do. I hate him, but if that became public knowledge I'm sure I would be chastised, scolded like a little girl for being so "childish". The silent tears in the back of a car weren't enough to let go of my frustrations...I needed to hit something, someone....destroy something...but there was nothing, nothing except a sense of contentment and pseudo-happiness that I have been trying to renew for six years...but now it's gone. I have to start again....