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My world was filled with silence.
I was lonely.
Confined in a cold, cramp, and dark prison.
There, I waited for that special sign that marked my happy beginning.

I felt a sudden uncomfortable pressure.
Was it already time?
I was finally being set free from this desolate place.
Excitement filled my heart.
... And so did sudden pangs of pain.

Unbearable discomfort.
Searing pain.
Worry and Confusion.
Snap.

Oh how I remember that sad occassion so well.
I remember every grulling detail.
I never got to experience my beginning.
... Just my ending.

So hear I am... Watching.
Watching you try so hard to forget.
Watching your futile attempts to live a normal life.
As if you've done no wrong to anyone.
... To me.

Why?
Why did you rob me of my chance to see the light?
Why didn't you give me an oppurtunity to live in that world of yours?
Why didn't you allow me to meet you?
... To see your face, to hear your voice, to feel your soft touch?

I wanted to escape the frightening darkness.
I wanted to live in your world despite how rotten and unfair it seemed...
I always thought that I would be able to change it; to make it a better place one day.
I wanted to be with you and get to know you.

I see you cry.
Your eyes are always full of regret.
You scream curses at yourself.
The echo of my silent screams haunt your days and nights.

It pains me to see you like this, so I want you to know that I'm alright.
I'm doing better.
I'm in a place where I have the assurance that I will no longer feel the kind of pain I felt that horrible day.
I want you to know that I'm watching over you.
I don't want to taunt you or fill your heart with guilt.
I want you to know that I've forgiven you.
I want you to know that you still hold a special place in my heart despite all that has happened.
I love you...



... Mommy.



It's a life. It has a heart beat. It deserves a chance.


XOXO,
PaJiE (",//< wink ->