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I hate people. Honestly, there are very few people who have consistantly had any sort of affection towards me, in good times and bad, thick and thin, etc etc; this is not good.
The friends I've had since kindergarden aren't and never were really good friends. I think we only stayed friends because we didn't know what else to do and most of us were fairly shy?
but that don't matter. sad

I was telling Boyfriend how everyone liked me because they always fought over me (which was how they all admitted it - i'm not trying to be conceited). He then said that that was a load of bullshit and that he's heard every one of them say they didn't like me. I said: 'yeh, well, they all hate each other at some point in time.. and its only the two of them that are really fickle about how they feel about me'
'no, its all of them; sonia said it, marykate said it, eva said it..'
that really broke it. like, really really.
I had already gone off on him about me being nice to people who were mean to me (the start of this conversation, actually).

He said: "Why do you go and play nice to those people who betry us? Why don't you ever take a stand for yourself? For us?"
I didn't really know what to say to that. Since, I donno.. It was mostly true, I would just surrender and not be angry about the things they said about me or him or us, or anything. Le Sigh.

So after that up there, the paragraph above that one, when he listed all the people he'd heard say they didnt' like me or the equivalent, i just broke down and sobbed. right there in a parking lot too (we were walking to k-mart or mcdonalds for dinner and fun). It was horrible. sad

We talked a bit and I spent a lot of the night swinging through every mood available domokun
Went home around ten, talked to him for a few hours and walked back to his house around 2am; we watched Dawn of the Dead, during which his dad came in to yell at me for being over there without my mother knowing and he'll be getting in trouble for it blah blah blah. After that we made pancakes (we didn't have milk, eggs, or oil.. just mix, water and hot cocoa powder), dyed/cut my hair..

and yeh.

my avatar is flippin j00 da bird.