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heart be still again,

i think i just hurt someone i love once again.

he less of a friend and more like a brother.

it dont even matter that we have differnt mothers.

all iever wanted was for us to be happy.

i gave up on life and yet he still helped me.

Lost an apartment all cause of me.

i was acting all stupid like it was only ment for me.

But what no one could ever see is how i deal with myself.

All i ever do is think how horrible i am.

Now my best friend is off to Japan.

but when he comes back ill show him im a man.

No time to bullshit,

No time for lies,

i've delt enough with that so why should i comply.

everything i hate i do it, but why?

Its hard to hear what u already really know.

It hurts even more when those ugly habits begin to show,

begin to grow,

soon ur stuck in this endless flow,

out of control out of life,

out of every situation,

i wish to stay home but all i need is a real vacation.

away from my mind away from my soul.

i hate myself and yet im in control,

To change it all for nothing,

cause thats what i am,

i wanna be me but that aint the plan,

time to show myself that i really can.

cause time is up and i am next in line,

to push till i drop,

but now i will never stop,

cause i hurt soo many that my heart begins to rot,

i know what i do,

and i hurt in everyway,

its harder to do but easy to say.

so from this moment on just look at my actions,

cause from this day on ill be getting my satisfaction