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Something a Little Different |
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Well..... something has been wrong with me lately. i dont know what it is really. but it makes me feel... good about death. im not writing a poem today because i havent been able to write one about how i have been feeling. Death seems to be really interessting, and it doesnt scare me at all anymore. i actually like it. A LOT.
But, ive been kinda worried about my life lately. i have a gut feeling that it will be my time to go soon, but i could be wrong. but if something does happen to me, i would like to say a few things.
First, id like to talk about my little brother Lee.
Lee.... I am sooooooo jealous of you! youve grown up to be a fine young man, and will grow into a powerful, divine man. but, because of you, im the one that has grown the most. all this time, ive been trying to be more and more like you. because i know, if you stick to our shinobi way, you will prove every one wrong one day. i know its in you. you just have to let the world stop holding you back, and let me help you when you need it ok? dont be afraid to ask. but, no matter what happens, i want you to promise that you wont let anyone get you down, and you do what you wana do. you and i both know you can. do something i could only dream of doing for me k? whee i love you bro!
Next, id like to talk about my best friend the psycic. {idk if i spelt that right}
any way, thanks for being sooooooooo cool! your flippin awsome to hang out with, and i can talk to you about anything. ill always be there for you, and i know you will be there for me. when i first met you, i was having suicidal thoughts. but because of you and my bro, im still around with you two. youve shown me a bit of light to this vile ******** world. and i am truly in your debt for that. Thank you!
but, if i do go, i want you to promise that you will make it big with your violin ok? i want you to be the best, and i want you to play me a song at my grave. i love ya!! dont forget it. and dont forget about me k?
Lastly, this is to my family.
I dont really know how to put it into words. i just wish all of you could have understood how ive been feeling. but you never took the time out to try and help. i love you all, i really really do, but you just dont care as much as i do for you. so why should i care for you. im tired of keeping it in. so, if i leave, dont bother going to my funeral unless you're my sis, my grandparents, my mommy, and........ my bro. my sis is the only one i keep thinking about right now.
every day i see her, and when she gets a sad face like i did when i was young, i know how she feels. i had no one there for me, and i thought i was alone. so ive always tried to be there for her, so she doesnt end up like me. last night, my mommy was being mean to her, so she slept with me. before we go to bed, we always pray together, so she believes in god, even though i dont. and when she was praying, she said
"god... please let devon always be here for me no matter what"
then she looked at me, and said... "why are you the only one thats nice to me? are you always going to be here for me devon?"
i looked back at her and said...... "ill be here as long as im here. but even if i go, you just have to call me, and ill be here"
it really touched me deep deep inside, and i almost started to cry. i love that girl heart heart
i love you all
 Scilenced by a Death · Sat Feb 09, 2008 @ 10:30pm · 3 Comments |
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