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Maybe i have finally understood what i have done in my life that has made me who i am today. Maybe i haven't. But i feel pretty confident in where i stand now. I am not making a huge risky decision in going to a huge city who likes to tear people apart, i am staying at the best theatre college in the south to continue my arts education and to be trained in art history so i can be a teacher. I am playing it safe but with skill. SO many things can go wrong in my life, my dreams can be uprooted but at least i won't be so far away from anything else i won't have nothing to grab hold on to back track right?
I mean, yeah i feel like i am selling myself short on a lot of things, but better safe than sorry right? I am not a genius, but i'm not an idiot. I have gotten a quality education at MSA and have never regretted coming here. I have missed so many things back home but never the McComb school system. I have made friends and have found out who my true friends are. The true friends never forgot about me and never treated me any different when i got back to try to be the friend i once was. I tried to be a friend, and i managed to keep and make many new and old life long friends.
I'm going to be an adult very very soon. BUt i am ready. I have never been sheltered enough to be afraid of anyone different than me. I have loved every minute of being with campers from camp sunshine, the multicultural children of the Teen Youth workshop and have felt a growing compassion for so many people. When you are not afraid to learn and love other people, it is much easier to live.
Maybe i am too self centered, but i think i have a firm head on my shoulders. I haven't gotten everything i have dreamed of yet, but of course that probably will never happen. Finding a real prince charming is amazingly inprobable... but i will not settle for a man that makes me unhappy... never.
Living at my house has made me fear that. I want to love and be loved. Is that a fairy tale? Or something that i think i deserve but probably will never receive? I really don't know anymore. But i can not dwell on it. Life goes on. But it takes love to marry. And it takes love to keep a marriage. So it is only right that love makes a child. A ******** creates a being, but love makes a child that knows it is cared about and knows that it has never been a "mistake."

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