Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Me and Buzz are getting divorced because he's a major douche and I squawk.

We're busy splitting up our assets now and its a major pain. Our irl assets were easy, but online is all difficult.

Are there any good divorce lawyers reading this journal? Because I seriously need one. Buzz is ripping me off. He's not even paying me alimony D< And the assets are SO not evenly split.

The ONLY assets we can agree on are Aine and Dan. With Aine we'll continue splitting her profits 50/50 and Aine gets to keep the joy of the fact that she's the #1 throat slicing hooker EVER. And Dan - I want Dan, I really do, but its best for him to go with Buzz. Basically Dan is going to get a reality TV show and he likes me and hates Buzz, and how boring would his show be if he lived with the one he liked? Totally boring. I'll miss you Dan but at least you'll be famous ;_; And I guess if Buzz gets Dan he also gets Lexii >.<

Buzz is taking Moo Ell and Shoy. He's also taking Q D< BUT he can only have Q on the condition that he takes Sib and and he has them both for visitation at the same time. So he's stuck hearing them fighting and doesnt get to have any fun with them.

Worst of all - DDD< HE TOOK MY SIAMESE! HOW does he get my Siamese? SHE'S JOINED WITH MY PINK! But apparently since they're married he gets her and he said if he divorces her she'll have to pay 2mil on ms and give him half her gaia inventory. To get Siamese back I'd need to split Aine's profit 60/40 with him, give him I forget who, and be nice to a certain someone for the rest of my life. And if I mess up and am mean to that person he'll CUT THE PINK DDD: I'm totally going to take him to court over this. Or move my Siamese to the Swiss Alps where she'll be safe for a while, until I kill off Buzz.

I get Eikichi and he gets Pixie. I also get Roger.

I'm hoping to get Toastie, Wren, and Sylfy. And Druki and Insom. But Druki and Siamese cant be separated so I think Druki will have to go to the Alps as well :/ Hopefully they have apple orchards up there.

I want Maggeh too. And Ana. Dukes we already decided on but I forget who got him. We also need to split Amigo, Rai, Ego, Zen, Tedie, Hirun, gthb, and like a million others. Maybe we could have joint custody with the majority of the SG, but if that means compromising with Buzz I dont have high hopes sweatdrop

Imma call Nifi. Her and Siamese are having a baby so Buzz will have to let Siamese see me when she sees Nifi.

Splitting assets is so hard sad