Ok ever get that feeling that your life seems to be turning to ashes in your hand?
Well that seems to be happening alot, then on top of that I have mild depressive tendancy, usually seeming to lead to mental breakdown and the conclusion once again that I am really not ok. But not the point i was trying to make. Because of that depressiveness that is me I crave the feelings of happyness, that I can find in my life, turning each and everyone it seems into a new disease, and addiction. And then it all seems to as I said before burn up and end as ash slipping though my hand even then. Though that is just the way I can see thing really working out at this point in time. Its not that I am pessamistic all the time just that I can't stand optimism about most things anymore. Optimism to try and get through life has never seemed to work. And when i was really trying to be optimistic I ended up shuting out parts of my life and that put me off the eadge and into a pit of depression that I was barely able to get out of. but yea by this point in time I would just like to mention that I wright in here just because I feel better if I do, don't care if anyone actually reads it still
Chaos Twig Community Member 
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