Hehe... Warning Labels are funneh xD
On a bottle of dog shampoo: "Contents should not be fed to fish." ((O.o...))
On a baking pan: "Ovenware will get hot when used in oven." ((Yes.. yes... BRILLIANT!))
On a blanket: "Not be used as protecion from a tornado."
On a fishing lure with a three-pronged hook: "Harmful if swallowed." ((-eats one- oh... wait.. what?))
On a 12 inch CD rack: "Do not use as a ladder."
On a carpenter's drill: "Not intended for use as a dental drill."
On a knife set: "Never try to catch a falling knife." ((-throws a knife- HEY! CATCH!))
On a package of earplugs: "These earplugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpip." ((Doesn't most items if caught in windpipe?))
On a japanese food precessor: "Not to be used for the other use." ((I dun get it))
On a cocktail napkin with a mini map of Hilton Head, South Carolina: "Not be used for navigation." ((Why not?))
On an insect spray: "This product not tested on animals."
On a box of birthday candles: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for an other function that involves insertion into a body cavity." ((-watches sister pull a candle out of her nose-))
On a child's scooter: "This produc moves when used." ((Nooooo......))
Inside a six-inch plastic bag: "Do not climb inside thisbag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury or death." ((Who can fit in a 6-inch bag?))
On a paint remover that heats up to 1000 degrees: Do not use heat gun as a hair dryer."
On a shower cap: "Fits one head." ((Nu-Uh! If I put it on my head, take it off and then put it on Lady's head, it fits two heads! xD))
On a can of pepper spray: "May irritate eyes."
On a Toilet: "Recycled flush water unsaf for drinking." ((Then why does my cat drink it?))
Heh... I dunno how to open hte 'Dumb Jocks' quote part so I shall direct quote it from my book. "Heinrich Heine once said, 'There are more fools in the world that there are people.' We [Bathroom readers institute] don't know what he meant by that. And chances are, neither do these sports stars." (-forgot what to do in case of no author-, pg.26) HAH! Mah teacher would be soooz proud of meez xD ANY WHO!!!!!
"I have nothing to say, and I'll only say it once." -Floyd Smith, Buffalo Sabres Coach
-dun get second one... dun dun dun... OKAY!-
"If the NBA was on channel five and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel four, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy." -Bobby Knight, College Basketball coach ((-shudders- Believe me, you don't actually wanna watch frogs make love. I know, I was told how they do it -scared for life- THEY DUN DO IT LIKE PEOPLE!!!!))
-this one kinda... can't say stupid... lets see.... POINTLESS!-
"Most of my cliches aren't original." -Chuck Knox, NFL coach
Will finish, dun worry. I still on page 26!
Lumiere Cachee · Tue Apr 01, 2008 @ 12:43am · 5 Comments |