Dear God, summer is finally coming upon us. I don't want it to though. I hate being hot, and since my household is having money troubles that means NO AIR-CONDITIONING.
Sucks, right?
Anyway, I got two new games yesterday. 3nodding Condemned : Criminal Origins ( because the second "Condemned" kicked so much a**!! >D ) and Obscure : The Aftermath. All I have to say for Obscure is...DEAR GOD, WHAT A HORRIBLE GAME.
Bad voice acting and dialogue? Check. Cheesy storyline and characters? Check. Vague gameplay? Check. Not-so-vague innuendo jokes? Check that off, too.
This game basically tries to be a horror/teen flick, which it doesn't pull off to well. At all. Not only that, but it's also a Silent Hill rip-off. I was walking down this hall and I suddenly see a Dead Nurse-esque creature nailed to a wall, hanging in a very Silent Hill-esque pose. Then I noticed that there was furniture that looked like it had been recycled from Silent Hill Orgins (which is a great game by the way) and programmed into this pile of trash.
I mean, this game's atmosphere and levels are basically Silent Hill, with cheesiness spread over it. The controls aren't bad, per-se, but the weapons system needs work. Not to mention the way you use weapons is just like in the Silent Hill games. You didn't see that one coming, did ya?
The dialogue is also crap. The voice actors talk as if they're mannequins forced to voice these bland characters. And the character designs are so cliche, it's not even funny. Lets see, you have :
- A jock
- Two sisters
- Some queer guy
- Another chick
- And a whore
Great characters, right? NOT. And the gameplay is rigid and terrible. The first level is so damn hard, you give up within ten minutes. Here's the mission :
Get into the billiards room, open the safe, and get the gun to kill the monsters.
Doesn't sound so hard, right? Wrong again. Apparently, you have to find some "corner" (as told by the "NPC" standing by the doorway) and find a code to the safe. Weellll....Lets see :
4 corners + horrid enviroment rendering + vague NPC info = a trip to gaming hell
You'll spend at least an hour looking for this coveted "code". Why you can't simply beat the monsters with the hockey you find at the beginning of the level is beyond me.
Now onto the innuendo jokes. Every corner you turn, every poster you read, every dialogue you listen to has some not-so-hidden sex joke it. I'm not even kidding. In fact, let me give you examples :
- "That one guy" (a.k.a "That guy who I think is secretly queer" wink is a peeping tom
- There's a poster talking about a guy who "has lost his girlfriend, and she's wearing a lacy bra and panties to match"
- The dirty mags Kenny finds on the rooftop
- Dialogue that is said by the characters, insinuating sexual activity
- When you click on one of the limo's in the courtyard of the "Frat Party House", it says "These are know as a Bedroom On Wheels"
- Scantily clad women who's cleavage is totally exaggerated
- The infamous "Rules for Sexual Intercourse in the Dorms" poster located in the girls Wing of the Dorm
Stuff like that. Listen. I have nothing against sex or anything. I don't particularly care, cuz I'm more into the gameplay rather than some cheap "joke". But when these "jokes" are so blatantly obvious that it makes you laugh, it starts to get pretty pathetic.
And from what I understand, the storyline consists of these college kids sniffing evil flowers that somehow bring forth monsters to kill them. Yeah. That's it.
This game is terrible. Unless you're into a few (and I mean VERY few) cheap scares, give it a rent, NOT a buy. If you're into a much more crappier version of Silent Hill, go for it. I warned you.
So, now that my rant is over, you guys can go back to enjoying your young adolescent lives. Adios. ~
Sucks, right?
Anyway, I got two new games yesterday. 3nodding Condemned : Criminal Origins ( because the second "Condemned" kicked so much a**!! >D ) and Obscure : The Aftermath. All I have to say for Obscure is...DEAR GOD, WHAT A HORRIBLE GAME.
Bad voice acting and dialogue? Check. Cheesy storyline and characters? Check. Vague gameplay? Check. Not-so-vague innuendo jokes? Check that off, too.
This game basically tries to be a horror/teen flick, which it doesn't pull off to well. At all. Not only that, but it's also a Silent Hill rip-off. I was walking down this hall and I suddenly see a Dead Nurse-esque creature nailed to a wall, hanging in a very Silent Hill-esque pose. Then I noticed that there was furniture that looked like it had been recycled from Silent Hill Orgins (which is a great game by the way) and programmed into this pile of trash.
I mean, this game's atmosphere and levels are basically Silent Hill, with cheesiness spread over it. The controls aren't bad, per-se, but the weapons system needs work. Not to mention the way you use weapons is just like in the Silent Hill games. You didn't see that one coming, did ya?
The dialogue is also crap. The voice actors talk as if they're mannequins forced to voice these bland characters. And the character designs are so cliche, it's not even funny. Lets see, you have :
- A jock
- Two sisters
- Some queer guy
- Another chick
- And a whore
Great characters, right? NOT. And the gameplay is rigid and terrible. The first level is so damn hard, you give up within ten minutes. Here's the mission :
Get into the billiards room, open the safe, and get the gun to kill the monsters.
Doesn't sound so hard, right? Wrong again. Apparently, you have to find some "corner" (as told by the "NPC" standing by the doorway) and find a code to the safe. Weellll....Lets see :
4 corners + horrid enviroment rendering + vague NPC info = a trip to gaming hell
You'll spend at least an hour looking for this coveted "code". Why you can't simply beat the monsters with the hockey you find at the beginning of the level is beyond me.
Now onto the innuendo jokes. Every corner you turn, every poster you read, every dialogue you listen to has some not-so-hidden sex joke it. I'm not even kidding. In fact, let me give you examples :
- "That one guy" (a.k.a "That guy who I think is secretly queer" wink is a peeping tom
- There's a poster talking about a guy who "has lost his girlfriend, and she's wearing a lacy bra and panties to match"
- The dirty mags Kenny finds on the rooftop
- Dialogue that is said by the characters, insinuating sexual activity
- When you click on one of the limo's in the courtyard of the "Frat Party House", it says "These are know as a Bedroom On Wheels"
- Scantily clad women who's cleavage is totally exaggerated
- The infamous "Rules for Sexual Intercourse in the Dorms" poster located in the girls Wing of the Dorm
Stuff like that. Listen. I have nothing against sex or anything. I don't particularly care, cuz I'm more into the gameplay rather than some cheap "joke". But when these "jokes" are so blatantly obvious that it makes you laugh, it starts to get pretty pathetic.
And from what I understand, the storyline consists of these college kids sniffing evil flowers that somehow bring forth monsters to kill them. Yeah. That's it.
This game is terrible. Unless you're into a few (and I mean VERY few) cheap scares, give it a rent, NOT a buy. If you're into a much more crappier version of Silent Hill, go for it. I warned you.
So, now that my rant is over, you guys can go back to enjoying your young adolescent lives. Adios. ~
