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Have you ever had a feeling like something was missing in your life and you didn't know what it was or, maybe something was hurting you and you were suppressing what ever it was ? I'm feeling that right now.
I know something's missing in my life but I don't know what. I've been trying to figure it out lately while thinking it was my period, but this had been happening for longer then anticipated.
I try so hard and I'm so under appreciated... stuck in a house, forgotten by everyone on the outside of the thick purple walls of cherished memories, both terribly sad and exuberantly happy. I feel like everyone's forgotten about me, or like everyone's against me.
Therapy's not helping one bit. My only happiness these days seems to come from role playing and escaping to my own little world, but it seems that these days the only people who can supply my happiness are getting sick of me, pushing me away like a used toy, just to be picked up by someone else, toyed with, and then tossed to the ground again.
I'm not crying for attention, but I want people to see what they're doing to me. This is not something that people should be doing. You know who you are. You fester off of me, take my life, put me down every once and a while for your own benefit just to get yourself higher on the scale, to get a cheap laugh or to. Well you know what, You're not funny... Not matter what you do, or what you say, you're nothing but trash. Your laziness will be the downfall of not only you but also society.
I don't mean to be this mean, but in my younger years, I was such a happy kid, smiles, sunshines, you could give me a damp rag and I would have been content with that and played with it for hours. Now, look at me. My eyes are worn from crying, my face is fattened by the food I used for comfort, and my body is wrecked from the depression of being alone.
I opened myself up to people, and now, I'm regretting it. I chose the wrong place, the wrong time, and the wrong people. But no matter how hard I try to believe that those people will be friendly with me and keep their god damned mouths shut about things, it isn't going to happen. There is a lot of corruption in this town, but no one would have ever thought that even the most innocent o minds could be damaged and ruined by those posers of the darkness.
Crazy, or not, these feelings are indeed driving my heart into a state of delirium. This could lead to my loss of heart, in which I would not trust anyone else ever again. Actress, vet, Citizen, food chain, Artist, I can never trust anyone.
Looks can be deceiving, but in my eyes, bethel is not a quaint town, but the name speaks in it's own way, warning people to stay away. Welcome to beth HELL
 XxReflectionxX · Tue May 20, 2008 @ 03:39am · 0 Comments |
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