"Is life worth living?....."
I find myself asking this question, penknife in hand. I look almost admiringly at the small, sharp blade for a while. Then, I quickly take a glance to a paper on the desk. I had written it so painstakingly........it's almost a shame my blood will spill onto the unsoiled, white paper. I toss the knife onto my bed and pick up my pen, thinking over the question I still needed to answer.
"Is life worth living?....."
As I mull it over, I start reflecting on the lost loves.......the lost dreams.......the thought that one day, I could actually become successful in this life. Right, like anybody has a chance to in a world like this anymore. I reflect over so many things my mind starts to hurt.......such a bother.
As these thoughts pass, I suddenly remember. The last time I'd been in the funeral home........I had seen the most beautiful coffin. I wonder if they still make them like that. Such an amazing finish on the wood, and plush too. I hope they wouldn't mind getting me one like that after they find me.
I shake my head, aware that my mind is trying to distract me from the inevitable, a last resort fight-or-flight. Again, the question torments me.....
"Is life worth living?....."
I scribble down my final answer before I pick the knife back up and feel it cut through my veins as it slice at my wrist. The blood.......the relief..... But, for some reason, the relief feels empty. Like I had done something wrong.......no, the writing!!! The blood has ruined the ink!!!! All of that work......ruined! I weep as I begin to feel faint. I manage to gaze at the writing one last time as I lose the rest of my blood.......my question. It's still unscathed!
I smile fore the last time as I look over the question....
"Is life worth living?....."
"Sometimes,but not right now.........not for me."
Well, what do you think?!? ^o^
~PhoenixFire183 · Sat May 31, 2008 @ 02:36pm · 1 Comments |