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lately, life has been really REALLY weird. I don't know whether to be happy, or sad, angry, or accepting....i've just got a lot of things running through my head, and too much time to think about them... by the way, sorry I haven't put anything in in so long, i've just been kinda busy. See, I got into the Miracle worker (did I say that?), but i didn't get the part I wanted. at the first rehersal it was obvious that i was just not the image they were looking for ("Helen" is 2 feet shorted and about 5 years younger than me, and my hands practically fit around her waist) but I still couldn't help being jealous! isn't that horrible? i tried so hard to be happy for this sweet little girl who was just bouncing off the walls because her first role ever is a star, and all i could come up with was fakeish! does that make me awful? i'm really trying to be happy for the girl, and now it's finally beginning to work, but it scares me that that jealousy is such a strong instinct! I wasn't trying to be jealous or anything it just happened, and now i've got to deal with it! I prayed though, a lot, and that made everything soo mugh easier, so I'm good now.
the other day, i was walking my dog, and this loose dog came after us. it was a sunny summer day, and i had no idea as to who the dog belonged to, and it started chasing us, and i ran down the street screaming HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME! ANYBODY PLEASE! HELP! at the top of my lungs ( not the kind of screaming a little kid does in a game of tag, a real hollywood horror worthy cry) and nobody came to help me. I knew that there were people that could hear me, because I had seen them when i went down the steet the first time (towards the dog) not a single person came. nobody went into their front yard to see what was going on. nody opened a window to see if I was ok ( or if they did, they must have figued that I could fight off a stange dog coming at me at top speed while protecting myself and my own dog, and keeping the two animals from fighting on my own) we ran all the way out of the neighborhood, and stayed out there until we figured it would be safe. you probably think it's funny but i dont. not yet anyway. that dog could have hurt me or my dog, and nobody cared enough to even check on us. What kind of neighborhood is that? I know there's a lot of drug dealers around & stuff, bnut i always thought that if i really needed help like that and if i called for someone that somebody would be there for me. maybe I was wrong.
then again I didnt die or even get bitten... but I could have.
I'm going on a float trip with my cousins this weekend, and they are going to be staying in hotels, but I think my family and I ( my parents and me, that's my whole family...minus the pets, Shawna & Sadie) and going to camp, well i g2g now, bubieverybody!

lessthanthree,
ALi*