I don't know if it's something in the air or people just happen to be changing. But lately, it feels like all my friends are abandoning me or moving on. In the worst case scenario, they become two faced pricks talking behind my back. Let it be real life friends or online ones.
My real life best friend seems to be upset with me. He's ignoring me at work and doesn't even talk to me, let it be on the phone, msn, at work. I tried to plan out a weekend to hang out with him, but he said he was busy. So, I've asked around to find out what's going on. It seems he doesn't agree with the way, I'm living my life. He is upset that I'm not making enough time for him and my other friends, where we all hang out as his place, which is kind of understandable. But, I have two jobs now and basically have 3 days to fit everyone in. I just can't do it, I'm trying my best, but it's hard to make time for everyone one, every single week. I tried talking to him about this... and this is when he said "You aren't my bestfriend anymore, we used to be like this -hand thing crossing fingers-, but now it's like you are a different person." So, I asked how I've changed. It seems me not wanting to spend my whole weekend online playing World Of Warcraft or hanging out at his place means, I've changed. He said, I started to slowly move down hill after Tiffany. I admit, what happened between me and her made a huge impact in my life. It brought me to this wonderful place where I find it hard to trust anyone. But after being with a girl for such a long time, then having her cheat on you... that'll actually make you jaded towards the idea of trusting someone. I'm slowly coming over it, but it'll take awhile. But I don't even see how what happened between me and her even fits in this matter. It's been two years since she cheated and he just stopped talking to me a month and a half ago. So, I've spent the last month trying to win his friendship back -which sounds like I'm trying to win a girlfriend back- , but I've come to the point where, I just don't give a ********. Are you really my friend if you are treating me like this? When you and Sara broke up, I was there for you when no one else was. When you became a total p***k and pushed everyone away, I stayed and took your bullshit. That one birthday when no one showed up and you didn't get any gifts, I was the one who was there and spent the last of my money buying you a video game and taking you out to get wasted. What have I done to deserve this treatment? Have I not been a good friend?
Now my online friends. Which all of them mean alot to me, but it feels like the feelings aren't shared. As of recently, if it isn't friends talking s**t about me behind my back, it's people only talking to me when they need something. I understand, I'm not around all the time cause of my jobs and real life issues, but I feel, I'm online more then I should be. After work every single day and most of the time on weekends. I'm able to talk to people via MSN, Facebook or Gaia. I'm seriously trying my best. I've even given my cellphone number to alot of people, so they can contact me there. But it doesn't feel like it's enough. I message alot of friends asking how they are doing and recently the conversation ends after a few sentances or they just don't feel like talking... untill they need something. As of recently, the only time someone messages me is to hit on me or look to me for advice when all of life's problems are hitting them. I don't mind helping people, but I'm your friend for more then that, right? It feels as if, the only time people want to talk to me is when they need something or looking for a means of entertainment? I'm starting to feel, I might need to take a vacation from online and see if anyone cares.
I'm sorry if this post is all over the place, I'm just really upset with the way things are going. It's really tiring. I just want... things to go back to the way they were...
My real life best friend seems to be upset with me. He's ignoring me at work and doesn't even talk to me, let it be on the phone, msn, at work. I tried to plan out a weekend to hang out with him, but he said he was busy. So, I've asked around to find out what's going on. It seems he doesn't agree with the way, I'm living my life. He is upset that I'm not making enough time for him and my other friends, where we all hang out as his place, which is kind of understandable. But, I have two jobs now and basically have 3 days to fit everyone in. I just can't do it, I'm trying my best, but it's hard to make time for everyone one, every single week. I tried talking to him about this... and this is when he said "You aren't my bestfriend anymore, we used to be like this -hand thing crossing fingers-, but now it's like you are a different person." So, I asked how I've changed. It seems me not wanting to spend my whole weekend online playing World Of Warcraft or hanging out at his place means, I've changed. He said, I started to slowly move down hill after Tiffany. I admit, what happened between me and her made a huge impact in my life. It brought me to this wonderful place where I find it hard to trust anyone. But after being with a girl for such a long time, then having her cheat on you... that'll actually make you jaded towards the idea of trusting someone. I'm slowly coming over it, but it'll take awhile. But I don't even see how what happened between me and her even fits in this matter. It's been two years since she cheated and he just stopped talking to me a month and a half ago. So, I've spent the last month trying to win his friendship back -which sounds like I'm trying to win a girlfriend back- , but I've come to the point where, I just don't give a ********. Are you really my friend if you are treating me like this? When you and Sara broke up, I was there for you when no one else was. When you became a total p***k and pushed everyone away, I stayed and took your bullshit. That one birthday when no one showed up and you didn't get any gifts, I was the one who was there and spent the last of my money buying you a video game and taking you out to get wasted. What have I done to deserve this treatment? Have I not been a good friend?
Now my online friends. Which all of them mean alot to me, but it feels like the feelings aren't shared. As of recently, if it isn't friends talking s**t about me behind my back, it's people only talking to me when they need something. I understand, I'm not around all the time cause of my jobs and real life issues, but I feel, I'm online more then I should be. After work every single day and most of the time on weekends. I'm able to talk to people via MSN, Facebook or Gaia. I'm seriously trying my best. I've even given my cellphone number to alot of people, so they can contact me there. But it doesn't feel like it's enough. I message alot of friends asking how they are doing and recently the conversation ends after a few sentances or they just don't feel like talking... untill they need something. As of recently, the only time someone messages me is to hit on me or look to me for advice when all of life's problems are hitting them. I don't mind helping people, but I'm your friend for more then that, right? It feels as if, the only time people want to talk to me is when they need something or looking for a means of entertainment? I'm starting to feel, I might need to take a vacation from online and see if anyone cares.
I'm sorry if this post is all over the place, I'm just really upset with the way things are going. It's really tiring. I just want... things to go back to the way they were...
