The quotes are alphabetized by last name with one exception, being the one that is first is most important.
Dasha
"Open your mind enough, and it might fall out."
Adams, Clark
"If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!"
Adams, Douglas
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?""
Allen, Woody
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
"Sex and death; two things that only come once in my life; but at least after death I'm not nauseous."
"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
"Sex and death; two things that only come once in my life; but at least after death I'm not nauseous."
Asimov, Issac
"…if I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul."
"A God who cannot smile could not have created this humorous universe."
"A God who cannot smile could not have created this humorous universe."
Abbey, Edward
"The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages-as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already."
Bruce, Lenny
"If Jesus had been killed 20 years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little Electric Chairs around their necks instead of crosses."
Brush, Basil
"It's saud there are no atheists in foxholes so I decided to take a look and it's true, there wasn't. But there wasn't any believers either, just a fox, which bit me. "
Bunuel, Luis
"I'm still an atheist, thank God."
Cane, Steve
"I can reassure myself that there's no God nearly every night. I simply look up at the moon. If a God really had the power to create Earth and everything upon it, why the hell would it create the moon? Just for kicks?"
Chalmers (Superintendent, Simpsons)
"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."
Crocker, Steven
"Today's religion will be the future's mythology. Both believed at one time by many; but proved wrong by the clever."
Dawkins, Richard
"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose."
"I might retort that such hostility as I or other atheists occasionally voice towards religion is limited to words. I am not going to bomb anybody, behead them, stone them, burn them at the stake, crucify them, or fly planes into their skyscrapers, just because of a theological disagreement."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose."
"I might retort that such hostility as I or other atheists occasionally voice towards religion is limited to words. I am not going to bomb anybody, behead them, stone them, burn them at the stake, crucify them, or fly planes into their skyscrapers, just because of a theological disagreement."
Dudev
"They [atheists] will celebrate life, while you're in church celebrating death."
Einstein, Albert
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
"The important thing is not to stop questioning."
"If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
"The important thing is not to stop questioning."
"If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."
Eleni
"God is like the Tooth Fairy. She doesn't exist, but the whole idea is cute."
Feherty, David
"If god wanted people to believe in him, why’d he invent logic then?"
Fouts, Dan
"I'm a polyatheist - there are many gods I don't believe in"
France, Anatole
"If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
Franklin, Benjamin
"Lighthouses are more helpful then churches."
Fristoe, W.
"'God' is a sound some people make instead of 'I don't know.'"
Hicks, Bill
"They believe the Bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the Bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say...""
Infersoll, Robert
"Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids, who had to drown his own?"
Izzard, Eddie
"Fair enough, there are a few gaps in evolutionary theory, but you do not therefore decide "******** MAGIC!""
Knifty, Baron Von
"Although "In God We Trust" is splashed everywhere, they don't accept him as a co-signer at the bank."
Morgan, Donald
"A thorough reading and understanding of the Bible is the surest path to atheism."
Murphy's Laws
"A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle."
Nietzsche, Friedrich
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
"In heaven all the interesting people are missing."
"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."
"Man is the cruelest animal."
"God is dead."
"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger."
"Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?"
"After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands"
"In heaven all the interesting people are missing."
"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."
"Man is the cruelest animal."
"God is dead."
"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger."
"Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?"
"After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands"
Powers, David
"If God created man in his own image, how come I'm not invisible."
Pretentious
"If God created everything, he created evil. Who is he to call us sinners?"
Price, Robert
"Who needs Satan when you have a God like this?"
Steward, Jon
"Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion."
Stonehouse, Charles V
"The existence of G.W. Bush is the proof againts intelligent design."
Twain, Mark
"Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?"
"Faith is believing in something you know ain't true."
"Faith is believing in something you know ain't true."
UNK
"...and on the 6th day God created man in his own image. On the 7th day Man promptly returned the favor."
Watterson, Bill
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
Weinberg, Steven
"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."
Wright, Frank Lloyd
"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."
Unknown
"Deaths in the Bible. God - 2,270,365 not including the victims of Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, or the many plagues, famines, fiery serpents, etc because no specific numbers were given. Satan - 10."
"Prayer - how to feel like you're contributing by doing nothing"
"When you begin to think rationally, your religion collapses like a house of cards"
"There are no atheists in foxholes: An unproven saying without a shred of logic or evidence behind it, created only to help the deluded feel at peace. Why is it not surprising this was created by and for religion?"
"Remember when the millions of Jews "prayed to god" not to die; that sure worked."
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs. "
"Prayer - how to feel like you're contributing by doing nothing"
"When you begin to think rationally, your religion collapses like a house of cards"
"There are no atheists in foxholes: An unproven saying without a shred of logic or evidence behind it, created only to help the deluded feel at peace. Why is it not surprising this was created by and for religion?"
"Remember when the millions of Jews "prayed to god" not to die; that sure worked."
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs. "
I'd love it if you were to comment on this. <3
Note: My atheism is mostly against a personal god, a religious god. The God of Deism (better suited with the name "Creator" to not cause confusion) is fine by me.
Community Member
Looky Looky thats me right there!!!
-tears up-
The proudest moment of my life