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My Totaly Awesome/Stupid/Wutever U Wanna Call It Journal
yea...my journal might be a diff than other journals u might hav read. i kinda just talk about random stuff u know? if u actually read my journals u will find out why i say that. hell, u might even find them funny, scary, weird, stupid, or wutever.
100 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart!
Here r 100 ways on how to get kicked out of walmart (i found this somewhere else. i thought it wuz pretty funnt so i decieded to put it in my journal) (plus some additional ones) biggrin


1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,...”and see what happens.
3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
4. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
5. Go into a *beep* room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here".
6. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
8. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out
10. Set up a tent in the camping department
11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.
13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
15. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
16. Randomly put boxes of things suck as condoms and tampons into people’s carts.
17. See what you can “catch” by casting fishing poles into different isles.
18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.
19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field
20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.
21. Try to get people to race you across the store.
22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.
23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks you get
24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up
25. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up.
26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.
27. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.
28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.
29. TP the entire store.
30. Walk up to random strangers and say “I haven’t seen you in so long!” etc.
31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.
32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that they’re playing.
33. Test brushes and combs
34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.
35. Take bets on the battle.
36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.
37. Follow people.
38. Play with the price scanners.
39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.
40. Play with the automatic doors.
41. Make a pillow fort.
42. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
43. Shopping cart races. Enough said.
44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.
45. Put a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
46. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
47. Two words. Marco Polo.
48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s
49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.
50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
51. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until you get bored.
53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
54. Change all the calculators to say “hello” and “Bob Hesse” upside-down.
55. Burn something.
56. Bring a lot of hammers/scrap metal and make a "Custom Swordmaking" stand next to the last checkout counter.
57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.
58. Walk off with people’s carts.
59. Pretend to be a Jehovah’s Witness and attempt to convert everyone, including employees in the store.
60. Dress like you’re Amish and start rollerblading around the store.
61. Sing loudly. Badly. Or better yet, try to rap.
62. Pay for something like a pack of gum with a bad check when there’s a really long line of people behind you.
63. Somehow get a motor scooter. Race your friends around the store.
64. Throw things from aisle to aisle.
65. If there’s a produce department, poke and touch all of the fruits and vegetables.
66. Leave all the freezer doors open.
67. Switch price tags to make it look like a grill is $.99 and a bag of candy is $499, etc.
68. Release a cage of mice, a snake, etc. into the store.
69. Charge people to park.
70. Egg the security trucks.
71. You know that door-thingy for carts with the plastic flaps hanging down instead of an actual door? Go through it.
72. When you get in trouble, accuse them of being prejudiced against non-shopping carts.
73. Do the Macarena or the Cha-Cha Slide in the middle of the store.
74. Pretend to be blind and insist that the dog is there to help you get around, not to wreak havoc in the pet department.
75. Light a candle, and make smores.
76. Breakdance.
77. In the electronics department, start a mosh pit in front of a boom box or stereo with a few of your friends.
78. Play basketball in the toy section.
79. Dress up as Santa and let little kids sit on your lap. (Especially in the middle of the summer)
80. Charge parents for a picture.
81. Sing the national anthem into a karaoke machine.
82. Pretend to be an F.B.I. agent.
83. Ask the security guards if they have guns. If they say yes, refuse to believe them until they show you at which point you run away screaming “He’s got a gun! He’s got a gun! Run away!”
84. Duct tape things to the floor, walls, etc. that don’t belong there.
85. Walk up to people and start laughing. Then walk away like nothing happened.
86. Go to sleep on the floor.
87. “Accidentally” knock over displays.
88. Put on hats, gloves, and scarves and pretend like you’re absolutely freezing.
89. “[insert local sports team here] sucks!!”
90. In the parking lot, pretend to be in an unmarked police car and point a black hair dryer at passing cars.
91. Act shocked when they don’t have some totally obscure item in stock. Like a Korean pop C.D. or something.
92. Talk like a valley girl and act dumb and see how long employees can stand you. “Like, ohmigawd! Like, where is the mascara? I sooo like, totally need it tonight!”
93. Ask for directions to Kmart.
94. Scream “look at that!” and see how many people look at where you’re pointing.
95. Shoot rubber bands/hair ties at customers
96. Flirt with middle-aged and older employees. See how they react.
97. Run around in circles until you fall down.
98. Dip tampons in Kool-aid and throw them at people
99. Anything else in general that could get you shot, arrested, questioned, kicked out, laughed at, killed, stared at, or confuse, annoy, or injure other people
100. Have a friend push you in a shopping cart while shouting the British are coming! The British are coming!

Stuff from other people:
1. "I once got kicked out of walmart by throwing an eggplant at one of the camras! xD"
2. "I once hit a casheer with a huge stuffed teddy bear."
3. "This one is fun:
Follow people around in the Hannah Montana section of clothing and sing Hannah Montana songs loudly. It annoys the crap out of people. I have yet to be kicked out though.

This happened to my local Walmart. This is a surefire way to get kicked out. They were shut down for over two and a half weeks:
Someone stole some of the firecrackers during 4th of July season and they set them off in the toilet paper section. While the employees argued and kicked them out, they forgot to check to see if there were any more and the toilet paper had caught fire. This set off the sprinklers and ruined almost all of the merchandise in Walmart"
5. "Is there one where it mentions knocking over the giant ball cage?"
6. "I mouthed off to who was apparently the manager. "
7. (I really lik this one) "I've gotten kicked out of walmar plenty of times. XD
[1] knocking over the ball cage
[2] spilling over the fishes in he fish tanks
[3] I got caught stealing all the chinese fish XD
[4] I ran through the store in a motor cart and almost ran over 18 people!
[5] I switched the prices and many more..... ahhhhh the joys of being bad XD"
8. "We've had the cops come more than once, and also a couple weeks ago there was an outright brawl in front of the registers... girls clawing, scratching, ripping out hair, etc."
9. "my brother got kicked out one by nokick 3 of the food shelfs down and having to pay for everything XD"
10. "Shake every tickle me elmo on the display shelf so that the shelf shakes"
11. "I got kicked out for a month because I opened up all of the cans of tuna that have those pull-tab things and I left them to rot."
12. " got kicked out of McDonalds for stuffing a bunch of napkins and such in my bra then looking the manager in the eye and asking if it looked even. . . xD I really couldn't resist. "
13. "My siblings and I took a little superman cape and a spider man mask and ran through the aisles pretending to have a battle. Then later we got a bunch of friends, went to the mall and stared at the ceiling. Sooo many people stopped to look. After that we went to the Sprint store and called all the numbers on the phones and had conversations from across the store."
14. "Once, I was in WalMart with a few friends and we got asked to leave. One of my friends was sitting in a wheelchair and we took turns pushing her around really fast. She filled up the little cart with dozens of boxes of tampons, a few boxes of condoms, and a toilet seat cover with dolphins on it. We were also making really loud bird calls."
15. "go to the cerel aisle open your favorite box and eat when walking to the counter and on your at the counter make sure there is no cerel left"
16. "try and buy a video game with nothing but pennies"
17. "Put the Lingerie over your clothes and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "I'M A MONKEY'S BANANA!!" "
18. "Climb on top of one of the clothes racks and begin hoping from rack to rack. xD"
19. "Not quite Walmart, but my brother and I once got kicked out of Office Depot (or Staples, something along those lines, it is long gone now, and is now Smart and Final).

But they were having their clearance sales, and my brother and I were having a little too much fun with the rolling office chairs.

Yeah, we ran them down the isles, sometimes crashing into eachother, or just falling over from the spinning."






User Comments: [8]
zeinstra
Community Member





Fri Jun 27, 2008 @ 02:50pm


knoicking displays over donesn't get you kicked out I've done it. Nice new signature


cheesy_platypus23
Community Member





Fri Jun 27, 2008 @ 03:34pm


i found this somewhere else. lolz. u knocked over displays?! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! XDD LOVE MY SIGNATURE!!! XDD XP


angelic nightmares1223
Community Member





Fri Jun 27, 2008 @ 06:34pm


lol thats hilarious
im so gonna hum the Mission Impossible theme the next time i go to walmart xd


User Image
User Image
the speaker of truth
Community Member





Wed Jul 09, 2008 @ 08:36pm


my friends...lemme tell you this one, hair spray and the place up front where they sell those little lighters and don't forget to say happy new years in chinese alooooot


linnylou5
Community Member





Wed Jul 16, 2008 @ 05:28pm


lol gawd thats hilarious. One time, me and my friends all went to the movies, and my best friend got this crazy idea to go to Meyer and get pokemon outfits. So we did and I ran up to this random lady and shouted "GO PIKACHU GO!!" and threw a stuffed ball at her lol XDD She looked at me like I was nuts. I couldnt resist. lol xd


cheesy_platypus23
Community Member





Thu Jul 17, 2008 @ 01:14pm


omg that is sooo frickin hilarious!!! xDD i soooo gotta try that pokemon one and see how many crazy looks i get. xDD


Agito the Shark15
Community Member





Sun Jul 27, 2008 @ 09:29pm


lol those are just too funny XXD


the speaker of truth
Community Member





Thu Sep 11, 2008 @ 10:05pm


i did some of those, they couldn't catch me twisted twisted twisted


User Comments: [8]
 
 
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