heart "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."
heart "Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?"
heart "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
heart "Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."
heart "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
heart "I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."
heart "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.
heart "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).
heart "Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!"
heart "What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."
heart "I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight."
CARTMAN! heart It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
heart Respect My Authority!
heart Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.
heart You so much as TOUCH kitty's a**, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.
heart Eric Cartman: You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your v****a?
Kyle: There's no sand in my v****a!
heart I would never let a woman kick my a**. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your b***h a** back in the kitchen and make me some pie!
heart Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
heart Well, I looked in my mom's closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000.
heart Cartman: I'm not fat. I'm big-boned.
Stan: No, Jay Leno's chin is big-boned. You are a big, fat a**.
heart Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early '60's?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison: Right. But who was the fattest, oldest skank on her period?
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