That I'm just not going to bother talking about my problems anymore, or even THINKING about talking about them anymore. Maybe you guys might be like 'What? Why? That's so emotionally unhealthy! You can talk to us about anything Jess! We're your friends!'. That's true, or at least it should be. You should always be willing to listen to someone else's problems, no matter how you might be feeling at the time. And for my friends I always do, even if I might be at my worst, and I always try to give advice to help them if I can.
But I've just been thinking, and I've realized that I might have problems and some days might not be so great as others, but in reality my life isn't very bad at all compared to others. So what's the point of complaining to other people? When the other people have problems ranging anywhere from 10-100x worse than your own, they usually don't really want to listen to or deal with other people's problems. So why bother telling about them? 9 out of 10 times you'll usually get a 'Well I'm sorry to hear that, I wish I could help.' or any of the millions of variations of that statement, and that's only on good days when those people's problems aren't pressing them. On those other days when people are stressed out and falling apart, people don't usually even think about asking how the other person is; they're too wrapped up in their own problems.
Yeah, I know that's a major change in viewpoint for someone like me, who doesn't believe in bottling up problems and is always trying to get other people to talk about theirs and help them out. But I understand now that what other people look for is not to hear about other people's problems, but more to be able to talk about their own and to have someone be their outlet. So don't worry about me anymore; I'm perfectly willing to be your outlet. But if you ask me how I'm doing or how my day was, don't expect to get anything more than a 'I'm fine, every thing's okay', or at least a 'It wasn't so bad' since I'm not going to lie. Because in all honesty, no matter what happens to me, it really won't be so bad, and every thing will be okay. So there's just no point in having any of you worry about me by burdening you with my problems. Because it'll all turn out fine in the end. ^_~
~Jess
But I've just been thinking, and I've realized that I might have problems and some days might not be so great as others, but in reality my life isn't very bad at all compared to others. So what's the point of complaining to other people? When the other people have problems ranging anywhere from 10-100x worse than your own, they usually don't really want to listen to or deal with other people's problems. So why bother telling about them? 9 out of 10 times you'll usually get a 'Well I'm sorry to hear that, I wish I could help.' or any of the millions of variations of that statement, and that's only on good days when those people's problems aren't pressing them. On those other days when people are stressed out and falling apart, people don't usually even think about asking how the other person is; they're too wrapped up in their own problems.
Yeah, I know that's a major change in viewpoint for someone like me, who doesn't believe in bottling up problems and is always trying to get other people to talk about theirs and help them out. But I understand now that what other people look for is not to hear about other people's problems, but more to be able to talk about their own and to have someone be their outlet. So don't worry about me anymore; I'm perfectly willing to be your outlet. But if you ask me how I'm doing or how my day was, don't expect to get anything more than a 'I'm fine, every thing's okay', or at least a 'It wasn't so bad' since I'm not going to lie. Because in all honesty, no matter what happens to me, it really won't be so bad, and every thing will be okay. So there's just no point in having any of you worry about me by burdening you with my problems. Because it'll all turn out fine in the end. ^_~
~Jess
Community Member