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So, here I am... All alone, as always, but this time, it's more than that: I haven't talked to my boyfriend yesterday. I feel so empty on the inside. And the night before that, I fell asleep when we talked, so... It's pretty much been two nights without Thomas sad Well, I admit that's not the first time it's been like this, but... Today, he went to the International Motorcycle Championship as a paramedic. And he's going to stay there til Monday night, I think. So that means for him: 20 hours of hardcore working all day and four hours of sleep every night. Which doesn't leave a whole lot of time for me. That's okay, but I'm worried and curious and all that stuff. I guess it's the distance that's REALLY bugging me lately. We've gotten to know each other quite well when we're not showing our sugary side, and... It's hard to live that way. With all the fights and everything... One more year to go, though, and we'll spend every day together.

And there have been those days when I felt like breaking up because I just couldn't bear it anymore, and then there are those times when I'm feeling so hurt because this missing him burns me from the inside... But there's something else I see, and I understand that quite good: The more we fight, the more he wants to spend time away from the computer and with other people... So no IMing, no webcam, no nothing.

I'm too miserable to keep writing now. sad