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okay just before you read this is not a poem.

Okay today I dont know why but i have had this sudden feeling of jealousy. This isnt even sudden! Its always there. Just popping up whenever i look at my bestfriend. She's amazing! Wondeful! Pretty! Lucky!!!! She is cherished by her bf. I mean cherished! And i get so jealouse of them. im a jerk to think like that. I am happy for them but then theres that feeling of what my needs and wants are. And..and i feel so ashamed. I even evny my friend and thought about talking very mean to her for what reason? "Your life is so much better than mine! I will burn you and then shove your ash into you bf's @ss then take him away!" can you believe i actually thought that? I pity myself. Its kinda sad that my friends sorta forgot about me. Well thats the way I see it. Im too jealouse of them so i dotn say anything knowing im gonna say something hurtful...like last time... *slaps self* Im so pathetic....believe me i have no idea why im telling you people this but i guess i wanna get it off my chest.
Is it right to envy your friends knowing there off better with out you?
Is it wrong to hate them because even thougth they were nice to you you will get jealous and have horrid thought about them?
Mabey its okay to get angry at them abit?

I am so confused