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Well. It's been a while. School has been taking a toll out of my life here, sadly. Life has been ok I guess. It could be so much better. The past few weeks were hecktic. I've been doing school work and totally failing at it. I failed my first test for AP Psych. That's a bummer. I've been doing good in the rest of my classes though, which is awesome. So many things have been going through my head.
I finally gots my phone back. I got introuble because my bill was like... 60 dollars. Something like that. Compared to other people, especially in my fashion design class, it wasn't that bad at all.
I don't know why but I've been feeling pretty weird lately, a lot has happened. I finally met my other sibling, brother... whatever. He's weird and looks kinda like my mom. I felt so awkward talking to him. I told him about my life and he told me about his. It was generic. "I go to college, go to work. I have a girlfriend. I live in a condo." blah blah blah. Sounds like a regular highschool graduate to me. It was nothing special. He works for GAP and gets discounts... :]
I went fishing today as well. It was great. We stayed out until 8/9 ish; somewhere around that time. Right now it's almost 11, 10:50, something like that.
School has been uber boring. I do work, come home, and go back again. I hate this routine that I go through every year. It's so redundant. I want something new to happen in my life. It's so boring.
That guy that I was talking to for the longest time and I actually thought I was in love with him, well, he's out of my life. I guessing he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I sent him one message saying I wasn't blocking him, just taking him off my friend list and stuff, and he didn't answer back for like a week now. I'm glad. It would make me pretty upset if he did, otherwise, I'm happy that he's completely gone. I wasted my time on him.
There's this other guy that I just couldn't get off my mind for the longest time. I knew him for a long time. I never took him serious when he expressed his feelings for me. I was so happy when he told me "I love you" but I couldn't accept it because I was so stubborn. I was a fool for letting him go. Right after I broke up with him, he got together with someone else and it made me happy that he was happy, but I was so heartbroken. I fell apart after that. He's going to read this thinking, "Why didn't you tell me this before?!
I just realized this, that's why I never said anything.
I feel dumb for turning him down. This one time, he knew for sure I was going to ask him out but I just turned it away.
I'm talking about Chris Aaron Valo, or whatever the hell his name is.
I feel crappy for saying this now that it's basically too late. I feel like a fool because everyday, I get online and check if he signed on but he hasn't and it makes me feel sad. I love him. Some people know him as Sagura or I dunno, whatever. If he ever reads this, whatever. I just wanted him to know that inside, yeah, I still love you. I want to be with you but only if you want me too. I'm still here waiting.
Okay, so maybe it was stupid of me to say these things. We're distant from each other. It's so crappy of me to say such things but I'm feeling this way. I dunno. I'll wait for as long as I can though. :]
PS: I appreciate that song he sent me from Secondhand Serenade. (The song was called Broken)
I think I know why he sent me this but... eheheh xP
I love you, Sagu...
 Mari Lambo · Sun Sep 21, 2008 @ 04:08am · 1 Comments |
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