I couldn't help but just feeling empty.
I'm pretty proud of myself because this is the third day in a row that I've been doing my entries. I'm hoping I can keep this up. I need a positive hobby besides doing school activities, studying, and reading. I've been lacking on my writing, but now that this is the third, I'm happy! ;D ... only not really... this entry explains XD
I was talking to some underclassmen in Fashion Design class. It's pretty weird, they seem immature and mature at the same time. One chose to stay abstinent. (Yay! Big word!) The other one is no longer a virgin which is a huge step. I don't get this love thing she's talking to me about, even though I've got a taste of love before. It's cute how she says she's so in love with him. "He's my best friend, my lover, my everything..." It touches me a lot. It seems impossible to find someone like that. He must be a good catch I guess. I don't know.
When she was explaining it to me, it made me think. Being in a relationship is so much trouble. So much agony and sadness and other negativity going on. I don't want to deal with that, even though I have before. It makes a person see misery at it's best. It's like a needle that constantly pokes you and when you finally reach your point, it stabs you. That description was a little much but it honestly feels like that. To cut to the chase, I'm not going to be with anyone at all for the rest of my life, or at least until I get tired.
Wait. Scratch that. I just remembered Sagu. Well, I'll wait for him of course. ^^
So that guy I use to like; I randomly checked his profile. He seems to be falling for someone else and that made me happy. I don't want to see him hurt. I still love him which just pretty much hurts me. I don't understand. I don't know if this feeling is really love or just a strong feeling of just caring for someone. I feel stupid. I kept telling myself that. I would've been that girl he gave a chance but, I was so stubborn.
I suck face. Forealzz.
 Mari Lambo · Mon Sep 22, 2008 @ 11:22pm · 0 Comments |
