Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. Woody Allen

There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science. Louis Pasteur

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. George Santayana

How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct. Benjamin Disraeli

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Ludwig Erhard

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. John Lennon

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. John Updike

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. Frank Herbert

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known. Walt Disney
Why do writers write? Because it isn't there. Thomas Berger

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
Alfred North Whitehead

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A
TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY
HUMAN EXPERIENCE. -unknown

A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation. -Donald Trump
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool. -Jane Wagner
In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
-Johann von Neumann
A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose.
-Samuel McChord Crothers
For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn--much. W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman,

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. Mark Twain

The world only goes round by misunderstanding. Charles Baudelaire

Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again. Mike Myers
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. Wilson Mizner

All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value. Carl Sagan

Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time... The wait is simply too long. Leonard Bernstein

If the fans don't wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop 'em. Yogi Berra

Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Oscar Levant

The secret of being a bore is to tell everything. Voltaire

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. Paula Poundstone

In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man. Alfred Hitchcock

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book. Edward Gibbon

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun. Pablo Picasso

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't. Robert Benchley

There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government. Benjamin Franklin

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. Lynda Barry

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. Benjamin Disraeli
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. Wilson Mizner

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. Mark Twain

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. John Adams

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it. Roald Dahl

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. A. H. Weiler

The purpose of life is to fight maturity. d**k Werthimer
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. Alfred North Whitehead

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. Bertrand Russell

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. Aeschylus

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert Frost

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns

I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading. Zach Braff

My work is a game, a very serious game. M. C. Escher

I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient. Cyra McFadden
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. Christopher Hampton

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde
I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. Nancy Reagan

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. John Russell

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. Henry Ford

The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block. Inigo DeLeon

What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance. Havelock Ellis

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Carl Sagan

Reading this book is like waiting for the first shoe to drop. Ralph Novak

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others. Jules Renard

In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything. Jeffery F. Chamberlain

Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view. Lillian Hellman

Laughter is the closest distance between two people. Victor Borge

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. Evan Esar

Never confuse movement with action. Ernest Hemingway

You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience. Stanislaw J. Lec

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. Doug Larson

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. Dylan Thomas

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. Sir Francis Bacon

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Walter Bagehot

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe. Laurence J. Peter

If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough Mario Andretti

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Unknown

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. Salvador Dali

There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it. Denis Diderot

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. G. K. Chesterton

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. Jackie Mason

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. Mae West

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink. Booth Tarkington

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. Robert Orben

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy. W. C. Fields

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. W. Somerset Maugham

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. Nick Faldo

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. Don Herold

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. Thomas A. Edison

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. Ben Hecht

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Dorothy Nevill

I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe. Richard Gere

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. Mark Twain

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made. Jean Giraudoux

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. d**k Cavett

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. Alfred Hitchcock

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. National Lampoon,

They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum. Tallulah Bankhead

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth. Rex Stout

I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world. Georges Duhamel

Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born. Ronald Reagan

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Leo Tolstoy

Art is science made clear. Jean Cocteau

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. Frank Zappa

What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. Samuel Johnson

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk. Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider,

I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any. Ann Richards

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. Bertrand Russell

No good deed goes unpunished. Clare Booth Luce

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright

The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated. Oscar Wilde

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.Douglas Adams
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. Isaac Newton

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. Anonymous
An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly. Edwin P. Whipple

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister. Abigail Van Buren

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. Larry Gelbart

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves. R. A. Butler

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. George Bernard Shaw

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. Steven Pearl

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.Katharine Whitehorn

Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them. Suzanne Necker

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. H. L. Mencken

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war. E. B. White

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. Saint Augustine

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. John Stuart Mill

We are bits of stellar matter that got cold by accident, bits of a star gone wrong. Sir Arthur Eddington

The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution. Hannah Arendt

The world is my lobster. Henry J. Tillman

Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukulele. Bagdikian's Observation

Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever. Albert Einstein

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. Mae West