(Urges and Twisted Minds...)
1st of the month...getting a head start. Almost 2am. I'm twitching as the humidity levels reach about 55% and temperature levels out in the 70s. Window open means nothing. I couldn't sleep if I tried. I yawn and can hardly think with my brain fried and hard boiled.
Why? Why should it be this rough?
We needed to stop hurting each other, damnit! I don't want anything from her. I want peace, I want love, I want excitement....I want experience. My heart...my foolish, blind, anxious heart... stressed
Fall nights. What summer nights used to be. Hot and steamy. Not long ago I snuggled up to myself on nights like these...took what I wanted and needed from me. It was therapeutic.
I'm older now. Desires don't fade, but reason and love make way. I need time away from me, to have time with someone. I can't stand it, but sooner or later I must love...this heart cannot stand still. What woman would even give me the time of day? What would I have to offer?
No. No, I can't go back to my old mentality. If God thinks I'm worth so much...who am I to tell Him no? Love Him, love me, love her...but who is she? I used to love to tease. Loved teasers and games. My thoughts change lately. A yearning for something real seems to tug at me. I must find that girl I want to give my heart to. Must move, must act, yet must not rush...else I make all the same mistakes.
Body yearns for comfort..release. How weak am I getting? What kind of sub-division of the human race am I turning into? Never satisfied. I could say my life is decent yet I want more. I always want more. I owe lots of people money. I could just get a cheap and easy dead end job. I want more..I always want more. Give to me till you run out of breath. Love me till it hurts. I am forever loyal to what I want...but I always want more....
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Mind of a Shadow
I'm not famous...but some people for an odd reason want to know a little bit about me...
In time perhaps all will be revealed
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As for always wanting more, answer me this. What man doesn't always search for something more? A man with everything would not be happy. It's the want of something more that makes life interesting. It's what gives us passion. What we need to remember is to cherish what we have while looking for something more.
My advice isn't the best but I gave it a shot. ^^;